I recently lost a best-friend just before Christmas. It is still difficult for me to accept it and I am trying my best to accept it. One of the ways that I am currently doing is signing up to a gym to let off some steam and cope.
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I'm sorry that's happening. It is a difficult situation to experience. Acceptance is a process and a non-linear one, but it's awesome that you're going to the gym. Working out, moving your body, it'll help you not internalize the trauma. So many other benefits like keeping depression and anxiety down. Good for you for finding a way to cope!