After a conversation last week I was left wondering a thing or two. The person with whom I was talking is one who avoids conversations about his own demise and anything that revolves around it like the set up of a legal will, power of attorney or power of enduring guardianship, the latter two of which are actually more about life, or being alive still, I should probably say. He finds it uncomfortable to think about death like so many others, especially his own death or anyone around him.
I think it's a little irresponsible to be honest, but that's a different post. What got me thinking is that the fellow shuns any thoughts or talk about death and yet doesn't do a very good job at embracing his life.
He's one of those people who floats along making no plans, sets no goals and allows happenstance to dictate or determine what may come next. There's no investments, no savings to speak of and no ambition to do very much at all other than bumble along reactively. He's deeply in debt and just about everything he has is on credit. His health is poor due to bad eating and exercise habits and he looks...well, he resembles a grey blob of nothingness most of the time, physically and emotionally.
It's his prerogative though and all the best to him for the path he's chosen to follow. It's not a viable and sustainable path though and it seems a rather dull way to spend life.
As I contemplated this scenario my thoughts drifted to life in general. Life, in my opinion, is a series of segments all combined. I've said before that it's a series of moments all lined up in a row and I believe it which is why I try to get the most out of the moments I have; all the moments. But the segment thing is a little broader. I guess I mean, we seem to have segments or sections of life, chunks, that run for a period of time then, for some reason, end and transition to another.
I'm not quite sure if these segments can be designated solely by time but imagine: Infant, toddler, child, adolescent, teen, adult, middle age and elderly. I think it's fair to call them segments of life. It could also be said that various situations in life could be called segments: Military service, a job or career, a relationship or serious physical or mental illness...something that lasts for a period of time and which permeates throughout a person's life for that period. Either way, I think these segments of life are critical to our lives in general.
The various segments of life provide the experiences, lessons, knowledge, understanding, success, failure and ultimately wisdom that helps us proceed to the next with, hopefully, a better chance at making that period or segment just a little better than the last.
Imagine a person who has gone through a period of drug dependency, bad choices and worse outcomes. They may continue in that fashion to what is probably their early demise and that often is the case; but what if they find it in themselves to push through, find the strength and ownership to seek rehabilitation? They move into a new segment of life and, possibly due to their experiences in the last, make the next a little better - probably a lot better in the case of a rehabilitated drug user. Just a little example of how life can section itself and how those sections or segments can work for us.
For me, I can look back because I'm old as the fucken hills, and clearly see those segments of my own life and accurately pinpoint the change from one to the other, and the reasons for it.
At the time I wasn't able to, I guess because I was in the moments not looking at them objectively and with the perspective time, experience and wisdom gives. I'm happy to be able to see those segments now though, the parts of my life, and how I've progressed from birth, through childhood and into adulthood and, of course, how I've progressed as an adult through the various segments of my life to this very minute.
I don't know what people on Hive or in my offline life really think of me, but what matters is that I know what I think of me.
I think that's why it's so important to look back upon my life, the segments, and know where they transitioned and why. In knowing who I was at those past points, helps me create who I am in the present and it's the present that will shape my future for the better.
All of these thoughts started with a chat about death and I think that's pretty cool. Death is inevitable and I'm not one to shy away from it.
No, I don't want to die right now or any time soon and, no, I don't dwell upon my own death, or that of those around me. It's actually the total opposite. I dwell upon and focus on my life! Knowing I'm going to die eventually, tomorrow, next month, next year or whenever, helps me find a more enjoyable vibrant and colourful life right now - I see the value in it, the need to shape it into what I wish it to reselmble, because I understand and acknowledge it will eventually end.
I think that allowing life to drift by and exerting no influence upon it to design and create a better version is irresponsible; people do it though, and that's ok, it's their prerogative. I also think failing to think about and prepare for one's own death is irresponsible too, but I'll do a rant post about that some other time.
Life is a gift that should be treated with respect, care and attention. If left unattended it'll still occur, but with some nurturing, a little effort, ownership and responsibility it can be pretty amazing.
Transitioning from one segment of our lives to the other and carrying forward the lessons of the past seems a reasonable way to get it done, don't you think? Which would you prefer? Do you design, create and shape your life the way you wish it to be or are you happy for it to happen by accident or chance? I'm not talking about having everything structured, days stringently managed, here; I'm talking about the big picture, life in its entirety and your thoughts, attitudes and actions that can make it better, or worse. Feel free to comment below.
If you don't want to comment that's ok, just get out there and create your life as you wish it to be.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
The image of the juicy mandarin segments are my own, and I fucken ate the shit out of them after I took the photo.
I worked with a girl once. Cute thing, lots of bright, cartoony tattoos. Payday would roll around she'd go to the parlour and pick something else off the wall.
I only have one tattoo, and I thought about it for several years first.
I caught myself thinking she was doing it wrong. Thinking that tattoos should be meaningful to us; that they should reflect something about who we are as a person.
Then I realised a carefully considered (and budgeted for) tattoo wouldn't reflect her personality at all. I hope life's treating her well.
A good story; I guess sometimes life needs to just happen right?
I hope you enjoyed eating the shit out of them too 😀
Some of the Good Lady's family are like that. No lust for life. Almost to the point of me wondering what life is to them. Her sister in particular is like that and also has a strong aversion to talking about death. To the point where it made the funerals of her follow as hard as funk because it became about her drama.
It seems that into every life some cunts must fall... 😀
It's fucken bonkers Boomy, the way some people are so callous with their own lives, so wasteful. I just don't get it. Death is only a second away, like, any second. Look what happened to that nutbag brother of mine with his stroke; it could have been lights out. It's the same for all and so, doesn't it make sense to furnish one's life with beauty, happiness, laughter and surely it makes fucken sense to actively participate in one's own life? What the bloody fuck?
Today for instance, I was wandering around taking photos in the Adelaide University and heard the most beautiful music coming from one of the Conservatorium of Music buildings. It was amazing...I parked myself there for 45 minutes and lived so life, soaked in some beauty. It's not that fucken hard right? (I'm writing that post as we speak.)
I feel sorry for people like your sister in-law to be honest but, it's on them, only they can find the life-spark; I hope they do I guess. I don't leave my life to chance and don't think anyone should. But what do I know?
Infuckendeed.
Also, doesn't that photo above look like one of those helmets road-toads use? (I mean those chaps in lycra that pushbike on the roads in peloton's as if they're in the Tour de France.
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The older you are, the bigger picture of segments of life you can see.
While reading your blog sir Galen, I realize that life has its own phase. And those phases have their own unique experiences, lessons, and development. So whatever age you are now, the most important thing is that you value what's now before to think about what's ahead.
This part hits me differently because sometimes, I forgot the value of taking care of myself because I am blinded to taking care of others. This is so good!
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Mate, you can't take care of others unless you take care of yourself first. If you break down through lack of self-care you'll not help anyone.
I don't really understand people that can live life as if it doesn't matter. They actually suck the life out of me if I spend too much time with them. It is depressing, to say the least.
Have you ever spent time with someone that is terminally ill? Someone who is not ready to leave life? To throw in the towel? They grab on to life and enjoy every breath. leaving no moment behind.
It is actually a fairly simple task to get all your business together. One of my grandmothers had her entire funeral paid for and planned, right down to the flowers. Now, I am not that organized and gee whiz! Just bring me all the flowers, you know? But, after burying a couple of relatives without a clue as to what they wanted, if they had anything to disburse to their kids... basics? I vowed to never leave my people behind like that.
As for enjoying the segments? Every single one of them. Even if they are not always a joy, I hope to always find the lesson in them.
Hi, Galen!
People can zap or sap those around them with their thoughts, attitudes and actions. I try to do the former and, in so doing, I feel my life is a little more engaging.
I've buried people, my mother and father among them. Unfortunately I didn't have the option to have things pre-prepared for mum due to her stubbornness and the speed if her demise, but with my dad the whole situation was strategically planned and paid for ahead of time. It was a much easier and time.
I have my own affairs in order, my funeral paid for also. It's a private one, no announcements, ceremonies or anything. I don't like a fuss made over me and so it feels right. I feel happy knowing I'll not leave someone the burden of having to see to it at a time they may be greiving. People can celebrate my life, or my death, however they wish, I'll not be there. I'll be in Valhalla, or haunting someone. Lol.
I get the impression you're one who seeks the best in life, in big or small moments, and that you seek to do it a little better each day. It's a good way to be as it delivers a more fulfilled life. I'm the same.
From the way you describe him, it sounds like he is very depressed, unable to care about anything and unable to think about anything negative for fear it will drag him further down... if that is possible.
Of course, thinking that on just a few words is pretty much folly.... but it could be.
I guess segments is a good analogy. Once when I witnessed a Winne The Pooh tattoo on the upper arm of a young woman at work, my mind couldn't help but wonder if she would ever wish she hadn't done that. It was not the idea of having a tattoo itself, but the subject of it. I knew when I was 30, I didn't love or see value in a lot of things that I thought was good or valuable when I was 20 and when I was 40, once again, many things had changed in my likes and what I was into when I was 30... and on and on. Times change and life changes nearly completely as time goes on.
You just never know for sure what drives someone else to care or not.
I'm not sure what that chaps problem is, I try to avoid seeing him much because he whined and complains and things, feels he is the victim, but chooses to take no responsibility for himself, thoughts, attitudes and actions. It's always someone else's fault when, in reality, it's not; it's his. On the occasions I see him I keep it as brief as I can which works for me; I can get back to my vibrant and colourful life, and he can get back to his dull and lifeless one. Everyone is happy.
Lol, tattoos are a good example of how life progresses; I've seen some very bad choices made in that regard. I have tattoos but am lucky to have put some forethought into it.
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I agree with your team segments. Those segments of life are very vital and should be well attended to by carefully examining very stage also to ascertain when one segment is coming to the end and reposition yourself to welcome to next this is what I see as success even the bible say oh man examine yourself. A philosophy also said an unexamined life is not worth living. In all, I take conclusion when you say,
This gift is very expensive and once misused, regrets sets in . It has many chances for amendments but making the best use of it averts life long sorrow.
This article is a sermon. Thanks for impacting lives.