Some days chicken, some days feathers. It's the way of things, I think.
This said by a relative dipshit that has just finished a less than admirable year. I spent much of the last year intimidated by the fact that I was potentially doing and seeing things for the last time. As opposed to celebrating all the things left for me to see and do. A routinely bad choice that I certainly didn't make, just backed into. Even knowing what I was doing didn't help my attitude-it turns out I just had to live through it.
I've gotten back from a month of riding around the western US and I'm once again excited to see and do and read. I've had covid-in a strange way that helped. Not that I suggest it for attitude adjustment. I spent marvelous time with 2 brothers and two sisters. Real good serious time. I met a guy out camping and his simple attitudes about things helped too. Mostly, I think it was good quality time on a good quality motorcycle. I can't maintain any sort of sour attitude when I'm riding. It just won't work.
I wish I had a magic bullet to pass on to you-all I've got is this "If you don't pull the trigger it's damn hard to hit the target."
You've been gone, but exactly where you needed to be, and it's clear that in being there you found yourself in a happy, fulfilling and comfortable place. I'd say that was a well spent month.
I've had times like that and it's those I remember, the good moments, whilst I'm feeling flat or uninspired, as it helps me want to find more if them moving forward and that provides momentum.
I like that analogy at the end, the way you link one of my hobbies to a valid and valuable concept.
Thanks for your comment and it's good to have you back.