The Way of the Battered Husband Ep. 4 - Fatherhood

As always before I begin, I'd like to thank those that provided awesome support for my content. My wife @laviesm for inspiring me to continue pursuing my content creation dream here in HIVE; to all the hivers that had read or will read my content, kudos and I hope you have fun reading this.

Sorry if my content are taking ages to come out, I have another write-up in the works as soon this gets rolled out.

With that out of the way, let's begin..

PapaBear

Not too long ago (almost 2 years to be exact 😅) I became a Father of a cute little baby girl. I consider it as one of the biggest highlights of my life. She has brought me the biggest of smiles and the heartiest of laughs, but also came with a number of lessons and trials that come with raising a kid into the world. I know there is more of that to come but at the end of the day, seeing her happy and watching her sleep soundly at night makes it oh so worth it.

This won't go much into detail about her discoveries in the world, my wife has already had that covered, link is here if you want to see some of her adventures. Want I wanted to talk is basically the changes fatherhood has brought, and the lessons it taught. The shift to fatherhood is an adventure all to itself and I wanted to share my journey to perhaps help new dads as they start their own journey. I'm not imposing you take the similar path but only take what you want out of this.. whether it's for entertainment, insight, or a quick one-off of your time.

Decisions, Decisions..

One of the biggest changes you'll see is about your decision-making. Responsibility is the name of the game, and boy does it come in the boatloads. Certain decisions you choose today can or will impact your future. I'm not saying that it'll be the end of the world if you choose one over the other, but more in the sense that choosing to spend time with your child rather than having a cold one with the boys has its repercussions, not only the latter builds a relationship with your child but also gives your partner a sense of security and that goes a long way. I've already come to grips with the decisions and consequences made to this point and at the very least I am proud of myself for choosing well.

Your Pockets ain't as Deep as you Think it is

Another of these big changes will be your budget. Gone are the days you could be splurging on clothes, toys, and food after every paycheck only to resort to surviving off on cup noodles to survive till the next paycheck. You also now have to consider the needs and wants of your child, especially on the latter. There was a time I'd had to choose picking up a toy for her or using the earned money to buy a toy for myself. Going back on the first topic, budgeting is basically more decisions you'd have to make. Personally, I'd suggest give the world to your child all the while using up extra funds to invest on your future. Gadgets and top of the line things don't last, there will be newer and better things in the future; But the experiences and memories you share with your child will.

Just to quickly wrap-up

Fathers are considered to be the pillars of the household. Which means that stability is our main function. We can't do that if we choose to build ourselves with sticks rather than bricks. To the new fathers there reading, take on the mantle as early as you can, even before your child comes out in the world. Don't be too hard on yourself as well, remember that it takes a village to raise a child, you always have your spouse, your friends, and relatives to help you on this journey.

To the rest, I leave you with a poem that has since been my go-to guide with everything. It's called "IF" by Rudyard Kipling.

I hope you enjoyed reading through this and see you on the next one.