Hold on to those who matter

As I took some time to chill in my car after shopping for groceries and bit into the bun I bought for my on-the-go lunch at 3PM, I came across a post on one of the parent groups on Facebook that I have been following that shared about how time flies and to cherish those who matter most especially our little ones. The parent shared how she missed her children being little, and though it has never been never easy she wished time would slow down as the children have now grown up and soon will be leaving the nest in a couple of years.

This hit me straight in my ovaries as I receive messages from my husband who sent me photos of the children and their shenanigans while I was away on errands.

It's true. The days are long but the years are short.

My firstborn is already entering Primary 1 next month.

I am a wreak.

I'm happy for her but at the same time, my heart ached for the times I cradled and sang her lullabies on repeat as she needed help to sleep.

My firstborn, a 7 years old.

Wow.

As she finishes her remaining 2 weeks of kindergarten school life this month, I look back at how she's grown from a little girl who is bubbly and loud to a slightly different but more refined person in the making. She's happy, albeit nervous about primary school due to the crazy expectations described by the teachers at kindy which kinda "scare" the students a little in hopes of preparing them. Lots of unlearning and explaining to do to debunk them but we're working on it.

This is the dress she chose for her Chinese New Year celebration at school last Friday. Isn't she lovely? ❤️

Some of the parents of the classmates even gave the children red packets as blessings. So grateful!

And while she's away at school, it's back to adulting for me with my two cheeky boy.

As they are now 4 years old and 10 months old respectively, they have grown to be fond of each other day after day. When the baby was little, he had great liking towards his big sister because she's gentle and spoke his language. She was just able to make him laugh and smile so easily. Still does. But as he grew, big brother was able to slowly learn his way to communicating and loving on baby brother too, and baby brother has also learned to respond to his big brother's play.

Seeing them play makes my heart burst with lots of joy to say the least. I love seeing them spending time knowing and learning each other.

Each time I see my second born making the baby laugh, I'd tell my husband that it's like seeing a bigger baby making a smaller baby laugh. Because it's true. They both are still babies. An S sized baby and a XL sized baby. Haha!

And yes, big brother, like his big sister, too is a very affectionate child. My children have some similarities in their love language, and that is physical touch. It's how they like to feel loved and show love. So, there's plenty of hugging and face kissing at home.

And on most days, when big sister is away at school, my second born would miss her so much he'd tell me that he wants his jiejie back. Hearing her knocking on the front door when she's back from school is always a joy to the second born. He'll ask behind the door, "jiejie, is that you?" to "mama, it's jiejie! Hurry open the door!"

And then, our home resumes its loud noises of play and arguments. Oh, such happy shenanigans! I call it the beautiful chaos ❤️

May you three grow healthy, happy and always in love. My babies.

As I ugly cry listening to this song on speaker, here's to you. It's never easy being a parent. And while times are perilous and challenging, come hell or high water, may we be reminded that even in the deepest of despairs we are craddled in the hearts of those who love us. May our hearts be filled with love and peace, and may our focus be on those who matter most.

JJ Heller - Hand to Hold
(lyrics taken from their official YouTube channel)

JJ Heller - Hand to Hold

Trees are made for climbing, days are made for sun
Puddles are for jumping, fields are made to run
Stars are made for counting, and for wishes coming true
Sleep is made for dreaming, and I have dreams for you

Stones are made for skipping, stories made to tell
Life is made for living, I pray you live it well
Learning comes from trying, so don't be afraid to lose
Songs are made for singing, I'll sing this one for you

May the good Lord bless and keep you, fill you with His peace
His face will shine upon you, even as you sleep
Every day, you're changing, sometimes I wish it wasn't true
Hearts are made for giving, I've given mine to you

May you never lose the wonder in your soul
May you always have a blanket for the cold
May the living light inside you be the compass as you go
May you always know you have my hand to hold
May you always know you have my hand to hold