No matter what the future have waiting for you, you will crash it and will be doing amazing. Life have just too many factors we can't control and you are doing amazing with this situation that happened to you
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I am so emotional and that's why probably, I can't handle things properly as I should. I have left the warzone, I made the scariest journey in life. But still, I am not proud of myself, why I don't know. Probably I am angry, probably I am holding too much inside me, I don't know...
It is normal. As you said it is a lot of emotions and also it is a lot to deal with. Many changes. You will be so proud of yourself when you are ready for it. Are you going to therapy or something? You you should try and do that. Just to help you on working on all those emotions and get you to see all that you have done and achieve in that whole mess that happened.
That's another disappointing situation, from the beginning when I entered in EU, I was looking for therapists. In the beginning, they said, therapists are only available for Ukrainian nationals and you are not national. Later, they said you don't have any health insurance or anything so we can't help you. Someone was helping me but she is not always available and she is not professional... I just explained the story in a short way, there is more...
So, I find everything very disappointing and that's why I think sometimes better to go back instead of having this upsetting life.
Yeah I don't know how the national health services work there. But here in the UK in the majority of the cities there are this "crisis" centers, that usually are for free and it is not to help on the long term. But they are full of people to try and give some help and guide people that are struggling. To at least try and give them some tools for the worst moments. Maybe try and research if there isbsomething similar. Or even some phone lines to help.
I talked to some phone lines and they made me disappointed unfortunately when they heard I have a medical history. Anyway, I am going to do health insurance very soon so I think after that I can take professional help...