Abstract:
What's up, commies!
Welcome to this roast post we wrote mostly as a joke while totally smoked on coke and Holy Ghost and toasted artichoke liqueur! Side note, don't go hoping for anything more or less than exactly what we're hoping you're expecting to get unless what you're hopeful for getting is nothing except for a great big dose of disappointment! As far as we're aware our professor and our mentor are so far both unaware that we've gone and published this thing that we've gone and published here, and we'd really like to keep it that way at least till we can make good on our longawaited getaway escape from this academia hellscape, thanks!
Introduction:
Hello it's me and them and all of us together again @notanotherbrandt, everyone's favorite @anotherbrandt and the one and only @otherbrandt to ever have been voted World's Best @Brandt every year in a row since the dawn of time in the Year of Our Lord one thousand nine hundred and eighty-four!
Methods:
Sixteen Russian imperial stouts, nine of Colorado's finest psilocybin caps, two pounds of Swiss mountain goat cheese, and one refurbished Macintosh 128k that's sitting on an old oak desk that's getting lit by a kerosene lamp that's standing on the hardpacked dirt floor of a small dark one-room cabin that we don't recognize at all! The conditions simply couldn't have been one single little bit better for researching important research and finding high-quality findings, both of which we're pretty sure we either did or didn't and depending on which one it was we may or may not have a whole lot of work left to do!
Results:
To Be Determined!
Are you following along with all of this so far? No? Good, neither are we!
Are you feeling confused about where we're going with all of this? Yeah? Cool, so are we! C'mon, hop on down to the comment section and join the rest of us, you'll fit right in!
Discussion:
References: The Comedy Open Mic Contest | The Comedy Open Mic Contest, Part 2 | @jesus | @null
Jeez, and I thought I was the one having the pissing contest.
Brilliant, as always.
Bastard.
Lol yeah we pissed all over that research paper didn't we? :)
I think you're confusing me with @brandt.
did I win the pishing contest?
No. Drink more and try again.
Sorry, I meant to say
BastardS.
Credit where credit is due.
great comment amazing job love it, upvoted
i think i desherve shum credit so can you pleashe exshten credit for to me so to becaushe i am out of beer and money pleashe
!BEER
Oh. Well. Guess I'm broke, too.
!HANDSANITZER
So broke I've resorted to stealing jokes and regifting them to the people I stole them from.
Sorry, you don't have enough staked BEER in your account. You need 24 BEER in your virtual fridge to give some of your BEER to others. To view or trade BEER go to hive-engine.com
that's because @otherbrandt drank it all
shoundsh like white elephant chrishmash thing, exshept i alwaysh keep the handshantizer sho to drink it later
Me too!!! I like the lavender flavored ones. You ever chill them? It's like a fancy martini. So cheap, too.
I think you're confusing me with @bastards.
I think I'm just confused. I don't know who the hell I'm talking to anymore.
Which reminds me I wanted to ask you a question: Are your pronouns they/them?
We believe in inclusivity so all of the pronouns are ours.
LOL!
Excuse me?
I am soooooo pissed off to me right now that I only now noticed notanotherbrandt. I can't upvote this post because it's older than 7 days and that reeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyy pisses me off. And all this piss and can't do shit about it. And now shit has joined the party! Oh goodie!
Comrade, or is it combradt, stay strong and be brave. I'm sending few subs your way to help you in you time of distress. Before they get there, breathe in to a paper bag. Or in a paper bag, if you're tiny or can find a big enough bag.
Only one question left: what color do you want you subs to be, nuclear gray, water gray or red machine gray? Think very careful, I will tell your answer to some guy called Put In, not that I like him very much or that we are friends but I have to get his dogs off my back, my cats don't like them.
Hi. Tell Mr. In that I prefer my grays red machine. Thanks!
I don't even know where to write my reply to this 😅
This was like giving a schizophrenic acid-laced heroine while he controls a train. The result was the most beautiful trainwreck.
Thank you, @notanotherbrandt, brandt, maybebrandt, brandtbutlater, pastbrandt, for your participation in the Comedy Open Mic contest. Your entry really gave me a brandt new perspective.
Thanks for hopping aboard our beautiful trainwreck, we're really gonna go places!
😆
You all need help, I happen to run a moderation group for arguments like this. We provide the highest quality turpentine and paper bags. We also provide a few blunt objects and gasoline for more difficult situations.
If you're interested all you have to do is fill out the following form to waive all your rights and allow it to be filmed.
Please See form here
Sweet deal right?
(Picture stolen from google cause I'm lazy.)
Dont do it he steals ideas
Ignore this dude, he's just a cunt.
You stole my idea.
Fuck off and get back in the box.
Thats it I'm gonna downvote your punk ass, Thief
Seriously that's the best you got.
Hello, friend!
did shomeone shay turpentine? here i am
Yup and all for something with no real value! What a deal right?
great ill buy a thoushand shares of whatever you are shelling
Thank you for meeting my expectations.
You know I always aim for a result somewhere between exceeds and did not meet.
Look I made you a mediocre !PIZZA!
@notanotherbrandt, sorry! You need more to stake more $PIZZA to use this command.
The minimum requirement is 20.0 PIZZA staked.
More $PIZZA is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex
Sick! Mediocre's like totally my fav sick.
Looks like @notanotherbrandt forgot he's not the one with the !PIZZA staked. Typical dumbass.
I got some cereal
Eggsellent!
I got some rubidonut holes to add to this complete breakfast.
What the fuck is this?
My application to the World's Best @Brandt contest, what does it look like?
I thought being funny would have been a requirement for entering a comedy contest.
Actually I checked the rules and that's not one of them.
lol
Crap.
Did shomeone say World's Besht @Brandt? Here I am
Go away.
Knock knock.
Go away. And I hope your laptop catches fire.
well I hope you car cashes flat tire.
Have any of you read any of this?
i really cant remember if i'm being honesht
Is that like I really only remember if I'm not lying or no?
Either you’re lying about being born in 1984 or we have a huge problem on our hands.
What are you talking about? You know that we were never born, we simply came to be.
pretty shure the only one who did any coming wush your dad
OHHHHHHH SNAP
Your penis called, it wants its erectile function back.
OHHHHHHH SNAP
ish that your fashe or are you jusht wearing an ugly mask to hide how ugly your fashe ish
This is about as funny as the Gordian knot: It’s not.
go home you hack you are trunk
I'm not the one holding an empty bottle of cooking wine now am I.
thish ishnt cooking wine itsh rubbing alcohol.
He meant the other hand.
knock knock.
Who's there?
@brandt
my left hand knowsh not what my right hand ish doing
So far this is off to a great start! Thanks for joining in everyone!
None of these are methods.
Not with that attitude they aren't. Do you need a beer or something?
yesh please
Somebody please cut this guy off.
No I just need a dictionary so I can show you how to look up the word method.
This.
Who the hell are @jesus and @null and why did you tag them?
Well @jesus does a lot of giving and @null does a lot of taking so I figured I'd tag them both so they'd even each other out and maybe it would help bring balance to the COMtest.
thatsh reasonable
Congratulations @notanotherbrandt! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):
Your next target is to reach 50 comments.
Your next target is to reach 50 replies.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
sho can i trade in my new batchesh for beer or maybe shomething elshe that hash alcohol in it?
PIZZA Holders sent $PIZZA tips in this post's comments:
@brandt(4/5) tipped @dandays (x1)
You can now send $PIZZA tips in Discord via tip.cc!
Dear @notanotherbrandt,
The previous HiveBuzz proposal expired end of December.
Do you mind supporting our proposal for 2022 so our team can continue its work next year?
You can do it on Peakd, ecency,
https://peakd.com/me/proposals/199
Thank you. We wish you a Happy New Year!