Heaven Helped Me Because I Helped Myself

in Comedy Open Mic11 months ago

I saw a woman discipline her daughter today because she drank all the palm oil that she rely on and upon getting there, she met her daughter drinking it and she was beating her for that and I just told her to continue because she will have to beat her everyday because I've been there before.

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When I was still little staying with my mom, anytime she sent me to go and buy palm oil I always drank out of it, I don't know why but it is always tempting and one faithful day, she sent me to go and buy palm oil for her and as usual I drank out of it but that thing is a devil it kept tempting me to drink more and sat down somewhere and drink everything.

I don't know what keep pushing me to keep drinking more until I finished everything and that is when realization dawn on me that I was in trouble, I know the kind person my mom is, she was a no nonsense woman and I already know what is in store for me.

After thinking of what to do to escape been disciplined, an Idea pop in my head and I quickly do it without the second thought not knowing that I was adding fuel to the fire. I took the remaining oil and poured it round my daddy's car and go inside, when my mom asked for the oil I told her that everything have poured away and she immediately told me to open my mouth and you know oil is really stubborn, it will always leave traces behind.

The next thing was a resounding slap and I'm sure I saw a star and the moon immediately, and my next punishment she told me to stood down which I did for close to an our and she only released me when my dad asked her to. I didn't eat dinner that night not knowing that my punishment just started.

The following morning, my dad got to his car but paused when he saw what is around the car. At first, he didn't know what is was and he thought it was witchcraft and he left the car and go to work. He called his mechanic to come and pull the car out but when he got there and saw what is around the car he stylishly run away with the excuse of forgotten something.

When my daddy came back in the evening, we are all in the sitting room when he said he doesn't know who he offended that poured something around his car and I immediately burst into laughter and all eyes was on me. My dad said in a thunderous voice "what is funny here, I was talking about something serious and you are laughing". And I started laughing again and said amidst the laughter that it was funny because I was the one that poured the palm oil there and everybody started laughing.

My dad got angry and asked me to go and kneel down in his room and once I heard that, I knew nobody can save me and I started crying without being beaten and my cry almost brought the house down, my dad just looked at me and said you this witch leave my sight, immediately I left the room I started laughing because I remembered my teacher once said heaven help those that help themselves.

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Drinking palm oil? That's definitely weird o. We all did crazy things during our childhood but drinking palm oil is definitely the height of it. I don't even like how it tastes when I put some in my mouth. I hope you no longer drink it now 😅

Not anymore, but back then anytime I saw palm oil like this, it's always tempting

Hehe. It actually Sound like some witchcraft stuff.

I don’t think I have tried drinking just palm oil. But hehe, it was a smart move but it didn’t succeed.

The punishment must have thought you some lessons. Lol

It does teach me a lesson band I haven't drink it since then

African parents sha , everything is which craft to them, but you too , you no try sha , I am sure you now understand the consequences of the things you did. Hhehehe

I tell you, witchcraft here and there. O tried to escape the punishment bit it came in double

Double wahala..