Dapper Dan of course. Duh!
Seersucker Sam might not be a bad one to shelf in case Dapper Dan gets locked up but his eyebrows remind my of that one Jackass movie where they shaved their balls and glued their ball hairs to dudes face as a beard without him knowing they were ball hairs.
I don't think I'm cut out for Sam.
The difference is Seersucker Sam knows he's rocking ball hair for eyebrows. He's doing it to throw you off, show you who's the boss. It's good you have the self-awareness that you might not be cut out for Sam. Figuring that out post-bond would likely prove fatal. Dapper's probably a safe choice, if I can avoid looking him in the eye.
Oh man Sam's got'em by a nose for sure.