The Return of the Comeback

Hello Hivers! @baby.magic here, back again with another funny story that will surely put a smile on all yo' faces.

So let's get to it.

Why would you wear that?

I've been meaning to write this story for some time now but I just couldn't find the time to start writing it. If it wasn't for this contest I don't think I would be motivated to write this at all. I know the contest hasn't started yet but this should serve as good practice for the upcoming contest and fine tune my comedic skills. This contest definitely made me come out of retirement and it's a fun way to make some cigarette money too. Yes I'm easily motivated by money which brings me to my story about beauty pageants. Yep, all the women who joins beauty pageants are in it for the money. They can say all the BS about doing it to be an ambassador of some advocacy that they don't really believe in but I don't really buy it not one bit. And don't be a hypocrite and tell me you don't think that too.

These women join these contests because they're actually applying for a job. So I don't understand why they have to wear evening gowns and traditional costumes and bikinis(this I don't have a problem with) to be hired for the job of inspiring kids and ending famine in Africa and promote world peace. What has wearing a bikini got to do with ending famine in Africa or world peace for that matter.

Is it because if these Ukrainian and Russian soldiers see these beauty queens in their bikinis they would stop killing each other?

Yeah they probably would...

...coz it's very difficult to shoot your enemy and masturbate at the same time.

Unless.....

Unless of course you intend to shoot your enemy with your cum.

Imagine a news report,

News anchor: Why has the war between Ukraine and Russia escalated?

Correspondent: Aahh,.. apparently some Ukranian soldiers sprayed their cum on the Russian soldiers faces and it just escalated from there.

Probably not a good way to promote world peace.

End famine? Imagine them wearing a bikini while doing charitable works in Africa. An african kid would say..

"Look at this woman, she's working in her underwear. And I thought I was poor. At least I have complete clothes on."

Inspire kids?

When you have a woman in a bikini and present it to kids it would not inspire them at all. It would only lead to one thing...

Masturbation.

But there's one really good reason why they need to wear a bikini. And that is they need the money of some really rich dirty old men to fund their advocacies. A pageant official would invite these rich bastards backstage just so they can see all these pageant contestants undress. And these bastards would wear sunglasses so that they don't get caught staring at some boobies and cameltoes.

They'd pretend to be facing a wall 90-degrees from where the naked women are..

.. but their eyes are actually looking at the side.

Do you know how painful it is to look at the side without moving your head?

It's very painful but these rich bastards can take it.

They've done it a million times.

So I don't understand why women are always complaining about being harass sexually at work.. reference the movie Bombshell.. when they're actually promoting it via these beauty pageants. Stimulating our perverted brains with those half-exposed breasts of theirs. Why did you even wear a sexy dress or a really tiny bikini if you didn't want to be offended by men looking at your body in a dirty way anyway. Are we suppose to close our eyes everytime a woman in a sexy outfit passes by.

Haaa?

Are we suppose to react like this?

Oh shit! She's wearing a very tiny skirt, look away, look away.

Reaaalllyy?

Of course we're gonna look at your body until we've saved enough visuals in our heads so we could look back into it during our free time..

..in the comfort room.

If you can't wait till you get home.

Especially if you don't have someone to do it with.

Might as well rub one off, right?

But I think it only becomes sexual harrassment if they don't like the guy but if it's someone they like then they would just say, "Oh, he is just being appreciative."

No issue whatsoever.

Ooohh, the INJUSTICE!

Application

Imagine if this is how everybody applies for a job.

A fat woman wearing a bikini applying for a janitorial position.

Manager: So what's your name and what position are you applying for?
Applicant: (In a shouting manner)

My name is Shanika White. And I'm applying for... JANITORRRR.

I can write more about this topic but let's save it for another post. Yeah?

And that's the end of the post.

Thank you for making it to the end I hope you enjoyed reading it.

If you like this post let me know in the comments section.

And my name is @baby.magic and that's it for now. Jah bless!

Any upvotes, follows and reblogs is greatly appreciated.

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