I Know Who Satoshi Is Or Do I?

I'm not gonna do the usual intro and I'm just gonna tell you right away who Satoshi is. So brace yourself 'coz it will shock you.

Who is Satoshi?

Just to set expectations I'm gonna write this post in big blocks of sentences. The good thing about this style of writing is that you don't have to format..wait.. i did format the headers. but aside from that you dont have to italize a word.. wait.. i did italized some of the words.. but i don't have to.. wait lemmme just check before i say it.. okay i don't have to quote unquote "anything". Okay i just did. Why do i keep saying im not doing it anymore and then realise right after that I'm still doing it. I'm losing credibility already and I haven't even started telling you who satoshi is and whats his story. So im gonna restore my credibility by telling you what is satoshis ethnicity.

Satoshi is chinese. Thats right! Hes chinese and he invented bitcoin so that China will have an advantage over the USA with regards to nuclear capabilities. That did not make sense at all. Wait. Let me try to make sense of it. He invented bitcoin becoz 17% of chinese people or 230+ million are living in poverty that's why he wanted to rid the country of poverty so that China will have an advantage over USA with regards to nuclear capabilities. Yeah, that did not help either. I take back what i said, satoshi is not chinese he's a... wait.. im thinking.. Hes indian. Not the ones from america who skin the scalp of their enemies as a thropy for their victory.

People living in India. Those kind of indians. If you notice in his emails he always try to say bloody in his sentences which is on the wrong places it doesnt sound british at all. Thats why hes indian coz he lives in a country that was colonised by the brits for a very long time that people are confused of who they are, and how they should talk or write. these people actually considered calling themselves brindians. So satoshi is a brindian, i mean indian. Hes an indian who talks like a brit and loves anime hence the name satoshi. Thats what colonization does to your head. Hopefully, he doesnt discover K-POP or he'll be totally fucked.

Anywho. Let me tell you how satoshi came up with the idea.

Satoshi and his brother were discussing issues with the fiat currency and how it's losing its purchasing power. They're not really getting a lot of success with women thats why they prefer talking about money coz maybe that will increase their chances with women. So to solve this trillion-dollar problem he invents a digital money that is very volatile and fluctuates in value every 5 seconds. So picture this, if you're in a convenience store and you only have 1000 satoshis and the bottled water that you're planning to buy cost 1000 satoshi then you're good. But while waiting in line the value decreases so now the bottled water costs 1010 satoshis but you only have 1000 satoshis so you get out of the line and wait for the value to go up. It goes back to 1000 satoshis per bottle so you go back in line and when its your turn to pay, bitcoins price goes down again. So you stand in the corner waiting for it to comeback at 1000 satoshis per bottle. You spend 5 hours inside the store. Your day is very productive.

Satoshi had already imagined this scenario but from what he told me it's all part of the plan. So i asked him what his plan was and i didnt get an answer. So im not sure if he has a plan or hes just BS-ing me that he has a plan. He also told me that the whole issue about processing a transaction taking so much energy or power was to make it very expensive to hack into bitcoin. Imagine this, a hacker with a super computer tries to hack into one of the blocks in the blockchain satoshi told me that he would have to use the whole power supply of an entire city to try getting inside that one block and still have no success. Satoshi even added that if the government tried it themselves they wouldn't be successful either. So stop complaining about bitcoin only processing 4.6 transactions per second coz satoshi did that on purpose. Thats why bitcoin is priced so high coz its unhackable, among many things. And don't believe what Elon says about bitcoin. He made his fortune from making an electric toy car big enough for people to fit in. Not very original. Satoshi on the other hand, is a visionary although he never fully disclosed to me what his vision is if he really does have one. But hey, he gave us bitcoin.

Satoshi also added that the math problems encoded in the bitcoin network should be looked into and all the bright minds on this planet should attempt to solve these problems coz the knowledge, mathematical principles that lie within these math problems is very valuable to human civilization. But miners don't even try to solve these problems instead they just play the guessing game. Which is not satoshi had hoped for, he wanted people to uncover the secrets that lie within these math problems like a quest in a video game where you are rewarded for every quest you successfully complete. Think about it for just one sec, how come nobody talks about the math problems and how difficult it is to solve. Its so difficult that people would just give up after looking at it and people would just build a super computer fast enough to guess the answer. Isnt that something that would stir the mind of anyone or is it that people just dont like math that they dont even bother. But im telling you there something in it for us according to satoshi. Even though hes full of shit just like me.

Okay here's the thing, satoshi told me one very valuable information thats hidden in the math problems but he made me promise not to tell anyone. So you didnt hear it from me. This is what he told me, we all know the size of one block is 1MB. But from what satoshi told me, 1 bit can be broken into 1000 microbits. Just like an atom, we all thought that the atom was the smallest particle in this universe until we discovered how to split it and found out that there's more to the atom than we know. Same thing can be said about bit or byte. If you can fit 1000 transactions in one block that is if 1 transaction can fit into 1 bit,then good but imagine if we have the knowledge on how to break 1 bit into 1000 microbits and also fit 1 transaction into 1 microbit. That would mean that a 1MB block can store 1 million transactions. Aint that something. But remember, you didnt hear it from me.

Satoshi admitted that bitcoin in its current state is not perfect but the solution to all of bitcoins issues lies in the math problems.

Now, you've reached this far all because of a promise that i said at the beginning of this post that i will tell you who satoshi is and up to this point you still don't know who satoshi is. Well, i dont know who satoshi is either. Luckily for me, im not telling you all this in front of a stage coz if i was you'd be throwing plastic bottles at me. Satoshi could be anyone, he could be sitting right next to you on your bus ride going home or maybe even blogs about crypto here in this community. But one thing is certain he gave us a gift and we are only scratching the surface. I think there's more to bitcoin than just being a cryptocurrency. I think the underlying technology by which bitcoin runs on is revolutionary. I also think that the CIA is making a profile of me in their database coz im talking like i know satoshi personally. Maybe i do, maybe i dont. Maybe im Satoshi. But, i guess we'll never bloody know.

And my name is @baby.magic & that's it for now. Jah bless!

GIF powered by Tenor.