Don't crucify me

in Comedy Open Mic2 years ago (edited)

  • Disclaimer before reading;

Apart from having the spiritual gateway Ramadan is meant for the gathering and attention to Almighty Allah. But for some reason this holy month brings happiness and smiles on faces. Here I am presenting some fun aspects so just a disclaimer to take this in the humor version. I didn't mean to hurt the feelings and emotions of certain communities.

You will find satan in prison but what about the son and daughter of satan. They are also with their parents lol. The sins you are committing now must not be thrown upon him because he can give you motivation but it's you who will send text how are you doing sweetheart. So your unmarried sweetheart must be washing dishes in their parents home. Because she was born to do this. In Sheri time it's her duty to make yum paratha and fries for you.

And what about the prince hehe well he is in the lane of hundred people who must have to take yogurt from these specified shops. Few are already dizzying, others are killing mosquitoes and bugs who are kissing their unwashed faces .

So what do you do all day? The quick answer is sleeping but don't mind if delicate hands are sleeping while cutting those vegetables. People say why you became so dull in Ramadan "due to fasting "?. And girls reply that "no spending 7 hours in the kitchen sucks bro". And about their rest time they get comfortable while viewing reels about their struggle. Well they don't know whether to laugh or feel sad but somehow Ramadan should be dedicated to all the ladies serving in the kitchen. I remember a reel in which Arabain kid asks who is the guest while serving the multiple dishes and then says "eat this and go to your home, my mom is making all this from hours".

No matter how yummy the home made iftar is, many of us wait for iftar which will arrive from others' homes. There is another vibe to appreciate the taste of that lady and own ladies are already on fire.

The prayers made me feel the real aging while offering taraweeh when my joints and muscles do party and sound like ktick fitak are produced. Spotify should include it in their premium version. And the actual struggle bro when I fight with my own long shirt like seriously the whole Taraweeh I am fighting with my dupatta (head cover -scarf) . And the real misery happens when the stitch button comes under my knee l want to cry out loud but remain silent because I know mom will yell that you have stitched these cigarette pants on order.

Guys face issues regarding the strictness their dads accomplish in order to make them go for prayers. Most of them offer the Fajar prayers and then awoke at the exact time of iftar so throughout the day they sleep and in the time time they are their friend are awoke lol of didn't want to mention about the friend being prisoner .

The real practices are done in cooking when you can't taste anything and you are asking mom how much should be the quantity of spice and she says according to the taste like wow what a tip. In the beginning we all hesitate but at the end we know the fact that the family wouldn't complain as they are hungry. Taste buds are literally sleeping when the person is hungry.

We all speak less in this month not because of purpose, we all are tackling serious stomach issues. Fried items disturb everything but can't remain away from them too. Yogurt is the best solution if your brother is kind enough to bring a packet for you too. Otherwise he would make a deal of something beneficial to you like making food for his hungry friends, completing his practical note book, becoming his mom on teacher's call, spying the crisp news for him, hiding his illegal activities from dad most probable the smoking. I remember one of my cousins threw his cigarette as a prank on my shirt when I was attending special guests. I couldn't move. So I got faint and, to my bad luck I fell on the ground and that half burning cigarette penetrated my skin more softly. Since that day I have remained 5 miles away from smokers.

Guys are curious about the shopping of girls so bro first of all committed girls receive Eidi from their in laws and married ones are satisfied by draining all of their spouse money. And legends like me lol they dance by wearing old jeans and white tops haha. I meant we are happy by recreating the old look of someone's marriage. Because nothing is fresh in the life of such people.

And about people who are sleepy on this special day if I would be allowed, maybe they would be executed by law according to my ordinance. Life is so simple so apart from sharing snaps you have enormous time to spend with your family. Go to ladies in your home and appreciate their struggle during Ramadan. Play cricket or ludo with your cousins, visit your relatives, and maybe some useful bees would benefit you.

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Nah nah I literally realised we for no reasons set aspersions on shaitan ..He is really innocent ☹️🥹..He doesn’t do anything …Its all the evil burgeoning inside our mind heart kidney lungs and blood which asks us to commit mischievous and bad acts….😂
Well fortunately i am escaped of those yougurt lines as my baba says my princes don’t has that much stamina ,guts and prudence to do house as well as outdoor chores. He just says why are you bothering sir …i am here to serve you( still can’t say whether it is a mordant comment on us or cosseted)
Well yes aftar scene is same here …got a tactic to mount up too many dishes on dining table i.e just go to relatives house with a set of one dish and bring back many dishes (instant profit scheme😂)

Well nothing to do on eid …except visiting relatives but this time i will extricate out all mine maturity and gonnaa enjoy this festive just like i used to be in my teenage…(fully committed)

Seems legends are treated in the Royal way 😍🤭 Satan is the one who is viewing the fruits of his 11 month harvest and we he earns ( can he she as ladies have extra fondness toward him ) !LOL

Well tell uncle that future assistant commissioner must have a loud and clear personality apart from having thick mustaches. If I were in that lane I am confident that the shopkeeper may hire me due to loud pitch 🙂✌️

People who ask me about Eidi I have a simple replay that the dress I stitched at this wedding will perfectly go with my looks so no more waste of money Xd.

That trend is of obtaining multiple iftar haha you know each home has specific members who have likeliness for specific neighbors so if 3 ladies from the same like you, you will receive 3 different taste iftari from all of them. Glad to see your presence Dost 🌺

I went to visit the wife's grave today.
She still thinks it's going to be a fishpond.

Credit: reddit
@ukrajpoot, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @ayesha-malik

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PLAY & EARN $DOOM

Well they don't know whether to laugh or feel sad but somehow Ramadan should be dedicated to all the ladies serving in the kitchen

I don't know about you, but I think we should start a petition to declare Ramadan the "Month of Appreciation for Kitchen Queens" in official capacity. I admire the dedication that goes into preparing meals during Ramadan. Cheers to all the amazing chefs out there!

Awww this tag I guess all the ladies out there are entitled to be called queens. From washing the dishes till burning their energies in making food for the loved ones they are on the way to earn rewards from Almighty. Thanks a lot for the feedback .

The hustle of Getting Dahi is Reaaaal....but but, I have connections 😂 (not really) I only know a perfect timing to Go and just Buy cuz at that time no one is there. (10 mins before iftaar) 😂 ab Kisi ko btana mat.

Ayesha Making Memes instead of Iftaar oh sowrry sowrry humko Mazak krny ki beemari hai.

Believe me I have made most of my iftaar by my own 😂 sirf fry he to Kiye samosa, pakora.

I spent my whole Ramzan sleeping 😴 but haven't used Snapchat but isi baat ka flex hai 😎.

I was waiting for that Rooh Afza meme... Kesy miss kr skti usy 🥺.

Hahaha I would share this ultra pro tip to those who are waiting 5 to go or 6 left. Wait for surprise hehe.

I tried all the things which were not eaten by others ( as people only love Pakora ) so I made a lot of storage in the fridge and stomach too. !LOL

Oh National drink actually no one sponsored me for this so I forgot haha. You love frying apart from roasting through your hilarious memes. !LUV

Well sleeping is good as your mouth is closed but the thoughts 😁 legends waking up at iftar and placing spoons on the dining table.

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You really nailed it here..I don't even know where to start commenting from.

And I loved the way you started the whole write-up

Hehe, these are randomly accepted realities that can't be missed during this specific month. Thanks for stopping here

You're welcome

I can totally relate to looking at the other neigbour's house during celebration, my house is never enough..lol..I love the memes

Hehe, why our love for food remains risky to imagine if someone is practicing cooking classes? Lol sinking dreams.😂

haha yeah

The memes were it for me!!
What were you even thinking that made you come up with this? 😂

Haha, I feel all people are identical when it's to food and appetite haha. Thank you for the feedback.

I don't know what it is with food-gifts at such times😂

I call it "such food is brought from heaven lol".

All these moments are worth precious we are gonna miss.