For me, it helps to set a goal, such as "how can I do this so as to change the lives of my children as little as possible?"

This is what my plan is at the moment. Smallsteps hasn't been told yet, but I will tell her next week what is going on. It is going to worry her, as she knows how important work is, and understands we need it to maintain our house. She doesn't know to what extent. The only reason I haven't told her yet is that this weekend is her "Dream weekend" where she has got to choose what we do for the entire lot, including the menu. This has been planned since before I heard of the situation, but will write about what we are doing later :)