Very interesting story! Is it a freewrite? It has the qualities of a story that told itself. I'm curious about your process here.
Yes the couple with the commercial breaks. I love that line the commercial breaks, so many meanings to that. I just had a conversation with my eldest, who is all set, comfortably, in that worls. She's happy. But when I asked her if this is the way she wants to live the rest of her life, she took note. I wish for some going out onto limbs for her. Geese on the she is hovering over, about to step in some shit. There's a bit of freewriting for you.
I love your story. Your descriptions, how they unfold so clearly and crisply. I love Scythe Guy. I feel his life to be happier than those of the Commercial Breaks Couple.
The geese are perplexing. The hopelessness, kind of in between the other two, a stepping stone from commercial breaks to fruitless labor. Except for the fruitless labor part. Hm...
There's a metaphore for almost any of us in here somewhere. This is great. Thank you.
Trying to define 'freewriting' (in relation to myself), I get a little lost in disorientation. In my case, I think the term 'letting off steam' would be a more appropriate one. Much like a pressure cooker in the kitchen, a certain amount of steam builds up over time as the topic that has been bubbling away inside me finally finds its way onto the white sheet of paper.
Whether it is humorous, thought-provoking, prose or fiction, all these things are completely irrelevant when I first pick up the pen. “The child has to grow up first. Only then do you give it a suitable name.”
Usually, however, it is very ordinary things (such as half-baked thoughts) that I fish for in the great lake of words, in order to build a sentence or two out of them.
Our inability to use commercial breaks constructively seems to have become the order of the day, as everyone, in their lethargy, hopes that the one who will lead them out of their shitty everyday lives will appear.