I lie and look at the ceiling.
I look for the last cup of life with my dead eyes. A million thoughts per second, each with only one goal.
I lie and gaze at my worthless life. Wiped of everything.
He waits for a salvation that cannot come.
I lie and breathe poisoning the air with my life.
I can't talk, I'm waiting, waiting for it to end
I lie and look with the eyes of my imagination,
I escape deep into fictional events.
I lightly move my body, which is full of nothing. He gets up even though he feels dead. I look in the empty mirror seeing the empty hazy gaze. Every day, every night.
No moment is just hopelessness.
I don't have the strength,
I don't want to fight anymore,
I want to say hello to the demons who are willing to listen.
As I lie and observe the four walls, a loop tightens around my brain causing an influx of thoughts, thoughts so terrible that I lie and watch the ceiling form a picture. A picture of the world he wants, but not me.
Depression is a TERRIBLE thing ... but please know that someone hears you, cares about you, and is praying for you... I know it is hard to keep fighting ... I've been there ... but it matters that you LIVE. You matter. You might not be able to see it or feel it right now, but YOU MATTER. Your being here, at this time on earth, matters. I can't tell you why or where or how: I just know that you matter. Please don't give up ... the demons can wait just a little longer.
@Kapitanrosomak, a co byś powiedział na jedną rozmowę z psychologiem i opowiedzenie o tym co czujesz komuś kto potencjalnie mógłby Ci pomóc? Nic nie tracisz, a możesz wiele zyskać. A jeśli rozmowa przez telefon to za dużo, możesz napisać maila. Gdybyś się na to zdecydował podaję Ci numer telefonu: 22 484 88 01 (można tam dzwonić od poniedziałku do piątku, od 15 do 20) i adres e-mail: porady@stopdepresji.pl oraz stronę internetową, gdzie jest napisane więcej na temat możliwości pomocy: https://stopdepresji.pl/ Pozdrawiam ciepło