My goodness, it is a good thing that I wasn't eating or drinking fluids while reading this.
I needed a good laugh and you provided with your clever use of words, you are a talented writer my friend.
Gophers are interesting creatures. I watch the giant family of them that live in my backyard, and they definitely have some kind of social life going on :D
The juveniles are playing with each other now, and it's very cute, but soon one or the other of them will drive the others away.
Glad you found it funny! I chuckled while writing it.