8 January 2025, @mariannewest's Freewrite Writing Prompt Day 2611: polish the brass moustache

Image by Nibman from Pixabay

“OK, but … I mean, I don't know if statues are ticklish, but, if they were, wouldn't that tickle?”

Seven-year-old Amanda Ludlow was doing her best to cope with the title of her grandmother's latest book from the library: How to Polish the Brass Mustache – Or Not! This was a deep historical fiction.

“Your reading comprehension is really getting good, Amanda,” Mrs. Thalia Ludlow purred as she put the book on the library shelf in the house. “I suppose if a brass statue was ticklish, that might be a bit of a problem.”

“OK, so, Papa, if someone was polishing your mustache, wouldn't that tickle?” Amanda said.

Capt. R.E. Ludlow smiled gently, and spoke with his granddaughter and his wife in the most loving way he could think of.

“The only person who has ever done that is your grandmother – and I have been known to have been tickled quite out of any and all bad moods.”

“See?” Amanda said. “I mean, it looks to me like that statue is trying to stay serious!”

“Well, Josef Stalin – the last name means, 'Man of Steel' – was a very serious fellow, and that's how he wanted to be thought about, so you've got a point,” Mrs. Ludlow said. “But don't worry, Amanda – the whole book is about how the person assigned the job simply did not polish the part just at the top of the mustache.”

“Oh, that's good!” Amanda said. “But, wait – if he was a man of steel, why did they use brass?”

“It's considered prettier,” Mrs. Ludlow said.

“But, see, I was talking with my brother George, and he was telling me stainless steel never rusts or turns green, and see, he really tried to find out because he put some spoons into vinegar and a bunch of other stuff, and then – .”

Capt. Ludlow put his head in his hand for a moment and then went to see...

“... so, if they had put Mr. Stalin up in stainless steel, nobody would have had to worry about tickling him!”

“That's actually a good idea,” Mrs. Ludlow said, “but, first, Mr. Stalin died in 1952, and they just weren't doing that back then, and second, nobody puts someone they think was important in the same metal they put their spoons in. Some metals are more valuable than others. Steel is largely made of iron, and there's a lot of it, so we use a lot of it and it's easy to get compared to copper, tin, silver, or gold.”

“Oh, okay!” Amanda said. “That makes sense, because it's like Papa hasn't given a gold ring to everyone, but you have one!”

“Right, so, to the Soviet Union at that time, Mr. Stalin was worth going up in fine brass.”

“And, it's good someone cared enough about him not to be polishing his brass mustache and tickling him,” Amanda said.

“Someone cared enough,” Mrs. Ludlow said, “to risk his life not to polish the top of that mustache, and lived long enough to show other people, when the statue came down, how he resisted what needed to be resisted.”

“This sounds like a long and interesting story,” Amanda said.

“And I promise that when you are older, I will tell you all of it,” Mrs. Ludlow said. “You have the right idea for your age about why that brass mustache really should not have been polished.”

“I'm real glad he didn't polish it!” Amanda said.

“So am I, Amanda.”