It Is Worth It - The Weekend Freewrite

You want to know the first thing that comes to mind when I read the line? - It is worth it.

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Suicide, feelings of hopelessness, depression…..I know this isn’t really starting in the happiest ways and I’m not trying to be a downer, but it’s the first thing that i thought about when reading this.

Maybe because I’ve gone through these feelings several times before in my life. I usually don’t talk about stuff like this, and it’s sort of difficult to step out of my comfort zone and share a very personal part of me, but when I see other people talk about issues like this I always praise them for having the courage to speak out and reach other people that may be suffering with feelings like this. So I feel like if this is what first popped into my head when I read the line "It Is Worth It", then I should be honest and have the courage to talk about this, maybe by talking about it I might also help someone else, or shine some light on this topic.

Where am I going with this ? As I said I’m not trying to be a downer so I’m going to try and get to the positive part of what I’m trying to say. In these times I think a question I have asked myself is, is it worth it? Is this pain, this sadness, is it worth it? Am I worth it.

I'm glad to say that even though I might not always be in the best place, and it’s always something I can work on. I’ve come a long way with my mental health and I survived a really hard time in my life where I really felt like ending it all, where I was so depressed that I was sure that I wouldn’t even make it past my 18th birthday. Well I’m 22 tomorrow, and I’m very glad I was wrong :) From the support of my wonderful girlfriend and my family along with some therapy, i got through it.

If I had given in to those feelings I would have missed so much of the beautiful things and happier times I have since been able to experience in my life and the great things to come.

Now, sometimes I look back at my younger self and even though I probably wouldn’t have listened, I wish I could have talked to myself and told myself that it is worth it, that I am worth it. Not to be so hard on myself. It will get better, that I would be okay. Maybe it would have saved some pain? Maybe not? It’s hard to think straight when your brain is so ill and you feel so hopeless.

Suicide is never the answer. If you ever feel this way please don’t be afraid to reach out to somebody and let them know what’s going on. The pain, suffering, sadness you are feeling now, it won’t always be like this, you can and you will get through it. Every moment is temporary, it will not always be this way. Even though there is a lot of pain and suffering in this world, It Is Worth It to see and feel all the beauty there is.

Life is already so short and it will go faster than you realise so try to live life to the fullest and do things that make you happy. It may not always feel like it but It Is Worth It.

Thank you for reading.

Love yourself and take care.