Realize or Continue living in lie

in Freewriters2 years ago

"I love you, someday, I hope you'll too."

Have you ever spent hours trying to decipher the behaviour of someone you love and care about and ended up with an uncomfortable tension in your mind?
You struggle to keep yourself calm as you gradually become more and more agitated until you explode in a dramatic outburst of emotions.
Despite the fact that you are aware that your feelings are not mutual, you continue to live in a fantasy world, analyzing every possible clue to give yourself some hope.

What is it about certain people that makes us want to keep going back to them even after they've proved us wrong and made us lose all sense of dignity and respect?

It's human nature to want to prove ourselves valuable in the hopes that the person who doesn't seem to want us would alter their mind, someday.
Why do we feed our ego to feel like we can have anyone we want? And when it doesn't happen, why do we get disheartened and feel like the world has shut us out?

Is it some kind of a challenge to conquer the one that seems unattainable to us? Because we've been taught to fight for what we want.
In an effort to win their approval, we often alter our personalities too.

I know ignorance hurts, rejection will sting, feelings will be bruised, and maybe we have to accept that it is what it is. Sometimes, no matter what you say or do, nothing can change their perceptions of you -even if you're worth everything.

We believe that if they know us well enough, they will have a change of heart.
We believe we are right about how well-suited we are for one another, and it won't be long before they agree with that.
We believe that one day we will receive the happy ending we so rightfully deserve.
We can see our daydreams becoming reality, therefore we have irrationally high expectations, even when it has been proven otherwise.

Love drives us to do absurd things. We sometimes find ourselves hankering after a particular person even though we know it will only lead to our hearts being broken. It's difficult to give up on them because they are the only person we want. We simply keep pursuing them till we exhaust ourselves.

We either realize or continue living the lie.

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Maybe it's not lie, it's just not permanent. I can't even choose to live in lies since no one wanted to lie between us, it is so obvious and I can't avoid. So now I am in reality and have my heart broken everyday because I need to remind myself of that fact, so that I wouldn't dig deeper into my own fantasy, or hope.

How about you? Which way do you prefer?
And why?

I used to live in lies and always tried to avoid reality. But slowly find out that was not worth it. At the end of the day, I have to deal with my behind-the-scenes alone.
So now I would prefer to realize the reality.

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