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RE: Find a match

in Galenkp's Stuff2 years ago

Interesting post. Back in my counseling days, I used to do a thing I called "The Relationship Formula". It was a fantastic exercise that helped couples identify commonalities, and also help identify uncommunicated needs and wants. It was then a prelude to to more advanced "brutally honest, but not mean" communication skill training.

It was an even better tool for helping couples that were really already fully broken and apart recognize it and get the "permission" or come to that realization and acceptance to move on. I often claimed it would help them "fix their picker" and enable them to make a better future choice in their next relationship. It's amazing how many of them would come back to me a month or two after breaking up with someone and ask for another copy of it and a brief walkthrough of how to use it in their new dating efforts. I really enjoyed those sessions with people, would accomplish so much in a short time, and was rewarding to see the change. Definitely it was one of those you could just see the light bulb switch on.

Anyway you called it, relationships are relationships and not sex or love, although when all three are mixed it's a good thing!

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Honest communication goes a long way and can be constructive if kept away from the mean or accusatory dialogues that could come from it. Moving forward collectively towards a common goal is usually the best way. But I'm not a counsellor of course.

I can see how you would gain a lot from those sessions also. I used to do the same in the mentoring and development of those placed under my influence. They would come along as young fresh-faced individual's and and I'd integrate them into the team, and help them grow and progress along the way as an individual; it had strong benefits to them personally and the team. It was rewarding, if super difficult at times.

I like your last comment above and agree completely. Maybe society isn't hitting the mark so well these days when it comes to relationships and the fact there's many forms of them. Who knows why, or even if it's true. I don't, certainly.