Last week, someone did something that effected me negatively, inhibited my progress and made me feel quite annoyed and, if I'm truthful, a little bit hurt. I'm not going to explain the thing, but suffice it to say it wasn't a small or insignificant thing and that it has worked to my immense detriment to a degree that will take some time to recover from; It felt like a huge injustice.
I'll recover, I know that much, but it wasn't a nice experience and the more I thought about it the more annoyed I became and that eventually turned to anger...quite a powerful anger.
In the past, I would have reacted incredibly harshly in response; I'm the guy who brings an army tank to a knife fight - I mean I treat harshly with those who deserve it and don't hold back - I figured if people have chosen to cause me (or others) harm they also contemplated the possible consequences and were content to accept them...and so I'd deliver those consequences tenfold and without remorse...and was really good at it. But, of course, times change and as I became older I started to make allowances, choose the battles I waged more carefully, and simply took the high road more often.
I took the high road in the case I mention here, delivered no retribution - despite wanting to - and feel content in that decision. Of course, for that individual, there is no coming back from the actions they chose, literally zero.
There's a lot of injustice in the world and not just on a grand scale like wars and other conflicts; it boils right down to people taking advantage of people and not all of them have the ability to recover from the negative effects or to hold back their retribution which, of course, has implications of its own. I guess what's important is that each time it occurs the person or people who have suffered that injustice look at the situation objectively, weigh and measure it, and then determine a way forward from there rather than rolling up with a fucken army tank and blasting the fuck out of someone like I wanted to do in my recent situation. Of course, there's situations where I'd be totally at peace with unleashing upon someone without mercy, say, if someone harmed my partner for instance; there would be no shred of mercy shown.
I'm content with my decision not to do that in this case though, have made peace with the negative effects of that person's actions and am taking positive steps towards rectification and recovery...even though a small part of me still wants to burn their world down to the ground. I think I made the right decision.
So, I thought I'd ask you about revenge and retribution...and I don't want you to all put on your halos and say how much of a beautiful little angel you are and that you do no wrong, that's unrealistic. I want to know if you've taken revenge on others, if you dare to say so, or if you've wanted to, how that went if you did and what made you not do so and then what followed on from it. I think most, if not all, have exacted revenge of some kind at some stage so if you want weigh in on the discussion and thoughts please go ahead.
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Do you really think so? I know a few angels who've been kicked from here to Tuesday without exacting revenge, though they could have. I've been swindled out of a lot of cash over the years, I've been libelled in a national newspaper and on TV news. I once had a mortgage temporarily withdrawn due to incompetence on the part of a prominent accountancy firm and though I've had opportunity to take revenge, I've always let it go. I'm not sure if it's because I loathe drama or because I'm a coward.
I recall you having had some troubles, I've had many too, in business and personal, and letting it go is something I've done...although I've unleashed hell as well, something I do with proficiency, wh n that's been the right thing. For me, it's about knowing when and when not to take certain actions...but always be prepared to do the worst.
Well you were the better person of the two for sure then, I think it's one of the perks of getting older, one of the few 😅
The world in general is getting harder, call me old fashioned but the way kids are raised in my part of the world isn't getting any better, on the contrary.. the standards and morals everyone used to get from their parents are mostly gone now and there are a lot of selfish people, I hope some day this will get better again, only thing I can do is raise my kids better than that.
To answer your question, I'm very vocal when someone does something to me, letting them know I'm not amused but I'm not much of a fighter, I won't start it anyway 😆
Lol, yeah one of the few perks that comes with being an old bastard. I still know when and how to go to war though.
I cannot disagree with your middle paragraph and it's not just there but all over the world where that situation exists; I'm not sure if it'll ever get better but I hope it does.
Drifting a little off topic here but I think the problem where I am is, many parents HAVE to both work to pay their house and everything, so the children and brought to the day care, I know of some kids that are dropped of there around 6:30 AM, before school, and return there after school until they're picked up again around 5:30 PM... You can't raise kids this way in my opinion 😐
Hello!!!
I am not very clear about karma and all that, but...in spite of being a peaceful person I have also suffered very serious conflicts interrelating with some people whom I should not even have known.
One of them manipulated me economically, and apart from denouncing him to his family and the police, I felt like sending him to make leather band-aids and I think I would have done it (in my mind) .... but he fled the country miserably, and a few years ago he committed suicide after killing his wife... and I am sorry, but I am at peace, the world has one less criminal to suffer.
From another person I took revenge as best I could, we still don't tolerate each other much but luckily we live and work far.... although next week we will be together in an event and maybe I will get the courage and throw some stones at him, and my shoes, and everything in my reach if he provokes me a lot.....😁
But maybe not, and as it has been a good while I will just pretend apathy, coldness and much disinterest in every thing I can say and/or do.
We are not perfect, but we learn to control strong emotions.
I still feel that those people did a lot of damage to my life, personally and professionally.
Although I think the karma thing is true, is it?
I think many people would prefer to present themselves as never having taken out revenge on others but the reality is that most have or will in their life. I think it's a good learning opportunity also, knowing what it's like, the implications and fallout and all; that's how we know what to do (or not do) next time.
I don't really believe in karma to be honest, I prefer action and am happy to undertake it, rather than leaving things in the hands of something no one has ever actually seen. I think karma is a nice way of people passing away the responsibility for action of their own accord...I'm not that way inclined, I do my own work.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you for your insights.
I know I won't throw stones or anything like that...the moment has passed, but I can't forgive...and acting accordingly will always be a good challenge against myself.
As for karma, I just translate it as your good deeds will come back to you and your bad ones too...someone who acts bad not to expect good things...it's simple...that's the karma I'm referring to.
The best way to resolve a conflict will always be to face it, only that with time you will know how to react in a more responsible and consistent way with the nature of your actions.
Forgiveness is sometimes difficult to give, I understand completely. People say that it's a necessity to do so but I disagree because not everyone understands the situation. If forgiveness can't be given though, I think it's smart to make peace with the situation and not let it eat one up from the inside out - also not an easy thing to make a reality.
Yes, I have. I will not speak of it here. First time I had spoken out loud about it in many years was next to the campfire near midnight the Sunday before last with my Bro Willy. No phones nearby. Just two brothers talking about what has been.
But hypothetically, had I any children like Willy does. And someone led them down the wrong path. I would end them. Disappear them. Lets say an activist rainbow 🌈 colored hair creepy teacher at school crossed the line and talked to my child about their gender. A childs genitalia and sexuality should be off limits to any "Teacher"... Period
That would be the end for them in this world had it been my child... Period
All Aboard the Indoctrination Bus!!
Yep, pretty much what I expected.
Certainly in alignment with my patterns. It's been quite difficult learning to hold back on some folks. Of course, in a psychologist view that could also be seen as "enabling" their behavior and perhaps a proper response could be helpful to both them and others. lol justifying of course.
Many Wiccans believe in the Wiccan Rede or "Rule of Three" (also called the Three-fold law or Law of Return). I prefer to call it the Rule of Nine (and then I add one to payback 10 times over just for good measure because after all, I AM an overachiever).
It goes something like this:
Mind the Wiccan Rede Ye should,
Three times bad and three times good.
What you sow comes back to thee
Not just once, but three times three.
Good Karma to you for holding back my friend, and remember they will get theirs. We don't always have to be the messenger.
Good response, I like it.
I knew I'd get different kinds in response and certainly expected the, I have done no wrong and am perfect, comments which have been received. (I call bullshit on that). Anyway, its important to understand the situation and act/react accordingly; acting rashly is most often going be an incorrect action and one may regret. I've walked away many times on occasions that have been of a serious nature, not pulled the trigger so to speak, and if course have done the opposite. So...I'm not angel, but I've learned plenty and that's what's important.
I'm sorry that sort of thing has happened to you and although I know you certainly will get past it, that doesn't change that it hurt.
I sat here for a few minutes and tried to think over my life to find some sort of story of when I took revenge, but I couldn't think of a single time. If I ever did, it is long forgotten.
That doesn't mean I have not been hurt or done wrong, because I have. Normally though, I walk away, for good. I never cared much for very negative drama and a few times it took a long time to come to peace with whatever it was. If it was a truly ugly offense, that person didn't get a second chance to do it again to me.
I'm very non violent, but that does not mean I would not take up for myself (or try) or that I would not jump in however was necessary if someone tried to mess with someone close to me in my presence.
I do believe in a sort of karma, maybe not exactly as the word usually is taken, but kind of. If someone lives a life of abusing others or deals out some other sort of negativity all the time, sooner or later they will do it to the wrong person and someone will lay them out for it...... or they will end up very alone.
Yeah me too but it's not the first time and I guess won't be the last; what's fortuitous is that it didn't end me and I'll get around it.
It's good practice to walk away from those who do us wrong and I'm one who, once trust is lost or the harm is done, will never allow that person back in, certainly not in the same way as previously. The degree of the shutout is dependent on the damage done.
I'm not one for karma, I prefer positive action, but for sure I understand what you're saying; those who live that sort of life sort of attracts the same.
I’m not very old and therefore have little experience in this "issues"
The little I have, I believe that nowadays I would have acted differently. What I mean is that if I’ve taken revenge, it’s just not instant. I’m one of those people who needs time to process what happens and take action—sometimes more, sometimes less. But if you mess with me, I won’t just stand still; in due time, I’ll give you what you deserve. My old man often says: that there’s nothing better than one day after another. Life is very long, and the world is very small
Not an angel but improving day by day 😅
I think it's wise to wait before taking action so that one can think about the appropriate thing and then go from there.
Also, no one is an angel...it doesn't exist, everyone has their moments.
I'm not generally a vengeful sort of person, but injustice absolutely can fester in my psyche. There are honest mistakes, but then there is deliberate abuse for personal gain or even mere pettiness, and the latter sort is infuriating. Self-righteous "Karens" and other people who seem to sincerely believe their behavior is for some "greater good" might be the worst in day-to-day life, though. They bully with a clean conscience as if their own inaction would have been the real injustice.
Yep, I agree with that line about injustice, people preying on the weak and all; it happens so often and I'm not inclined to let it slide if there's something I can do.
And...the Karen's, don't get me started.
It's a complex issue which is why I was fed to raise it, based on my most recent situation, to see what people though. Looking at it generally is one thing, but it really needs to be dissected, something that's difficult to do with a short comment. Interesting how people have responded for sure.
I have taken revenge at times, and I find that, later on, I always regret having done that. After the dust settles, I am left only with misgivings about my actions. What I refuse to do, however, is to forgive unless they apologize. If they don't realize how they have hurt or even harmed me, I will never trust them again, and forgiveness includes trust. Begone! to them. I move on to people with more integrity and less cruelty to be involved with.
It's always very strange to run into the louses again (usually at weddings or funerals) where they act as if they are still in my good graces. I feel no need to get into the past events, unless they bring them up, which some of them cannot help doing. I believe they think they are only teasing me, and that I am too sensitive about past events, but I let them have it anyway, and I do not care who is there to hear.
This is not revenge, it's clearing the air. Revenge is something altogether different. Revenge is doing harm to another, for which there is no justification. I feel much lighter now that I choose to walk away. Sound like you have done that here.
Sometimes the best revenge is simply moving on and doing better, rising above, succeeding...that often rankles others as much or more as any other method.
When someone hurts me, hurts me in some way, my first reaction is to get away from that person, to get them out of my life. But I can't always do that, especially when it's about work or colleagues. I know that everything comes back in life, by my hand or by someone else's, what you give will always come back good or bad and multiplied.
I have felt many ugly things for people who have done me wrong, I do not forget those actions and maybe I have not taken revenge in an active way but in an inactive way, by not doing something I could have done, by standing by and watching, by taking away help or things like that. But I have felt the force of revenge inside me and very strong, I know what it is... I was about to strike for someone who did a lot of harm to me and my family. I know what that force is.
People that take advantage of others need to learn a lesson and they don't learn it by going unpunished; of course, the degree of punishment needs to be proportionate...most of the time and other times it must feel like Thor's hammer landing on their head.
That's exactly what I thought... but I only had plates within my reach, I would have hit too hard, I was afraid of myself. He deserved a hammer, I'm telling you!
When someone is a good person (moral, honest, a man of his word), if he is in a situation to take revenge on someone who harmed him, when he does it, he will regret it later.
I'm like that too.
When someone wrongs me and harms me, it's already done and there's no going back. Is it worth wasting energy and time to "return the favor" to that person or just cross them off the list of people you are ready to give yourself to and cooperate with...
In my life, with some of my decisions and actions, I have certainly done evil to someone else for which he could have taken revenge (or took revenge), just as they did evil and injustice to me, for which I took revenge with the same or even greater injustice. And when I got my revenge (and sometimes overreacted) I wasn't satisfied. I felt sorry and I was angry with myself that I had acted like that and that I had caused damage...
I think it's very specific the situation and very difficult to generalise or comment from outside of the situation.
I used to do that quite a bit. Especially at work when certain emails would come across my inbox. I'd like to believe I have gotten better at it and I let a lot more of them go now than I used to, but I still have moments of weakness where I make that knee jerk reply that I probably shouldn't. Outside of work, I tend to be a pretty forgiving guy. No halo, but probably a lot more level headed!
Yeah, emails. But, if someone wrongs me in a serious manner, I mean something like coming into my home and harming someone in it like in a home invasion (something becoming more prevalent) well, I'd cut their head off...seems like a fair trade.
Oh yeah, well that for sure! We have been having a lot of break in's lately around my neighborhood. It seems to be some of the drug users that live in a one of the hotels in town. I have a feeling before long one of them is going to end up shot. There are lots of people in our township that embrace their second amendment rights.
I think there been a rise in crime due to the economic situation and those who wouldn't do something like that may push on with it and those doing more minor things are escalating. Not a good situation really.
No, not a good situation at all!
It's even harder to hold back because emotions feel so intense, and you just want to react. I really admire how you handled it, though. Choosing not to retaliate and taking the high road is something I aspire to do more often, even when it’s tough.
It's tough to do and in the moment is not at all what one feels like doing but sometimes it's the best course of action...other times, well, it's time to come down hard.
This may be weird but I don't recall the last time someone actively caused me harm. Benefit of barely interacting with humans I guess. Some people call my art childish or even horrible. But that doesn't really hurt me enough to get in an argument. Regardles if people praise or insult my art I just tend to say thank you and move on with my day. Of course plumbers are the other story. I don't know if they are really busy but their non action is causing me perhaps not harm but definitely discomfort...
You're still having issues with those fuckin plumbers?
yes. When we call to city's water supplier they just say that they have done everything they can and that we just have to wait because plumbers are busy. We didn't even get an estimate when those bastards will come. For a few days we are heating the house with electrical heater. So electricity bill will be higher. But having to borrow or buy water from the shop is really getting annoying.
It must be terrible to do something bad to you Galen, especially because of the level of disproportionateness that you can react, taking a war tank to a person who attacked you with a knife is super disproportionate, but that's how people like to feel the rigor, I have not carried a tank but if on a certain occasion a person attacked me with a knife and I fired my weapon at him on 5 occasions it was not in revenge it was in legitimate defense, because if not, I would not be counting it, personally The one who does it to me pays me, maybe not right away but when I have the opportunity to return all the bad things that they have done to me with interest and multiplied by 100 that's how it will be.
It's just an example of my attitude towards people who take advantage, I have no mercy and tend to fall like Thor's hammer upon them. Of course, it's wise to know when not to do that and I'm glad and fortunate to have that skill also.
People need to learn a lesson and be made to understand that they cannot act badly with impunity, there's a price to pay.
I am a kind person and I don’t hold a grudge against a single person in this world. Those who made a serious mistake regarding me simply leave my life, I don’t notice them.
Of course, you're the best human in the world.
It’s hard not to go full tank mode when wronged. Revenge can feel sweet, but peace hits different. High road’s tough, but it’s the real flex, yeah.
Yeah, there's a time for peace...but also a time for war; the trick is knowing when.
💯💯
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Bah! Revenge is only for slowpokes, imbeciles and cowards. You should always face and resolve grievances immediately and not give chance to later have to be ruminating on nonsense and stupidity in your mind for days. Even more so when it comes from injustices. A mind that is always clear, calm, at peace and free of conflicts is what everyone should aim for in order to move forward.
And if for some reason at some point you end up being the loser in the all of the sudden fray, then you simply get up from the ground with a smile and prepare again for the second round until you completely empty your mind and leave it free of conflicts. No one really deserves to go through life carrying with the weight of thoughts of revenge, regrets and remorses on their backs when they easily could have avoided the causes that produce them immediately.