It had been a hard day; work.
I had a super early flight out in the morning, a work day from the sixth level of Dante's purgatory that even Satan would have hated and it went for too long - and ran well over time meaning a missed flight home - then...not even a single sexy air hostess to chat up in-flight on the way back; none that I'll admit to anyway. The airport was congested, lucky I wasn't a fucken loser who checked my bag in, I thought when I walked past those fucken losers waiting for their checked luggage, and off I went to find my driver - not Uber, I fucken hate Uber - to take me home.
Once there, I had a quick meal of crackers with cheese and olives, alone because my partner was already asleep, a shower and then got into bed thinking, this sleep is going to be so fucken glorious and I deserve it.
It was 23:00 and, with a 05:00 alarm the next morning, I was keen to fall asleep after what had been an incredibly long day.
Fortunately sleep came, but as I was falling asleep I wondered at the unusual slipperiness of the sheets finally remembering my partner telling me earlier she'd bought some new sheets, high thread-count and very luxurious sheets, and put them on the bed. As I drifted to sleep I thought, hmm, nice sheets, slippery and comforting... then I fell asleep.
I wish that was the end of the story, boring though it may be, but it isn't. You see...falling asleep wasn't the only falling I did.
In the very early hours of the morning nature called, a byproduct of too much coffee over the day prior and on the flight home; the idea was to keep myself alert but, of course, that came with other ramifications.
In somewhat of a sleepy daze the need to go go the bathroom struck though I fought it; I'd be up soon enough but eventually resigned myself to the fact I'd have to get up then and there. I was still in a very sleepy state, only partially awake, but I moved slightly preparing to get out of bed and then it happend...
To be honest, I didn't actually know what happened at the time, enlightenment came later.
One moment I was snuggled on high thread count sheets next to a soft and shapely girl with bumps in all the right places and the next writhing in agony on the solid timber floor with pain emanating from my left hip, elbow and left side of my head. I believe I spoke the well used words one often speaks in such moments of surprise, what the fuck, and then I actually realised what the fuck had happened.
I realised I'd been laying on the very edge of the bed on my side and when I moved those high quality, expensive, high thread count sheets had conspired to dump me rather unceremoniously out of bed and onto the fucken floor. There was no floating sensation, slow motion, no soft landing...just an abrupt fall and an unwelcome sensation of pain in three places.
I lay there for a bit - mostly because I felt pretty dazed after banging my head pretty hard - waiting for that sexy soft and shapely girl to exclaim with concern, leaping out of bed (I was actually really keen on this part because she sleeps naked) to help me but...nope. Nothing. I was on my own.
I managed to get up after a titanic effort, touched my head lightly checking for bleeding and my elbow and hip to see how tender they were - I wasn't bleeding - so went off to the bathroom.
Before long I was back in bed - cursing the sheets, the bed for not being big enough despite being a king-sized bed, elbow, hip and head, the solid timber floor, the 05:00 alarm, the congested airport, coffee, Satan and that other idiotic fictional character Jesus, the CEO of the organisation I work for, the girl next to me because I didn't get a glimpse of her milky white nakedness, my second grade teacher, anyone reading this post, Joe Biden, Ukraine, AI, Elon Musk and pretty much anyone and anything that has ever lived...but mostly myself for being a fucken idiot and falling out of bed.
The next morning at breakfast I asked that milky white, shapely, girl I sleep next to each night if she'd heard anything, any noises, during the night. She looked at me quizzically, shook her head and said no, like what? I rolled my eyes, feeling pain emanating from my fucken head, elbow and hip bone and said, like me falling out of bed and getting fucked up!
She laughed...but her robe fell open a bit and I got a decent glimpse of boobs. It was a small win, but a win all the same.
This is a true story folks, something that happened three or so weeks ago and which I'm still feeling in my elbow which is still quite painful; my hip is ok and my head is hard as fuck so it's going well also. It's sort of funny now I guess, an event I've told a few people who all thought it was hilarious but at the time it was less funny. One second on the bed, the next second on the floor writhing in pain...I don't even remember the fall. I remember the glimpse of boobs though, one must always remember the good things right?
Have you ever fallen out of bed or had some other things like this happen to you? Feel free to comment if you'd like.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
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Image(s) in this post are my own
Those damn sheets, it's intolerable! But almost worth it for the boobage :OD
One can put up with a lot when there's boobs involved.
Priorities! Or maybe that should read 'Priorititties' lol.
Ahhh...
opportunitiesopportunititties lost, you blew it friend! You had the perfect nurse right there beside you all warm, naked and with boobs all ready to pillow that hard head of yours lol. Those sheets can be treacherous, maybe next time sleep a little closer to your nurse!One must priorititties the opportunititties that come along, grab them with both hands and make the most of them.
You know, I'd expected her to wake up, I mean it wasn't a graceful fall and the collection of flesh and bones hitting the floor must have made some noise and the what the fuck I uttered...well, it seems my "nurse" prioritittied her sleep over my general wellbeing. I was left to fend for myself. 😭
awww...doggonnit! No bonus sausage for her then. She better start attending to her patients with more astute attention. I think you should ask her for a follow-up appointment
I know right? I even had my Medicare card on hand and my private healthcare member number. The health system is flawed...and just when I needed it most because I was floored.
See what I did there?
lol good job
Bloody short comment...certainly worth a larger vote though. 😉
Is that your way of telling me I talk too much?
Yes, to the boob glimpse.
But falling out of bed, hell no. What are you a fucking clutz?
Juss kidding bro. It has been awhile but yea, I would think most of us has had a mishap or two in the bedroom. But when you fall off the horse (or trapeze) you get right back on and holla giddy up girl.!!
Next time photo boob proof please. 😉
I fell out of the cab of a prime mover once...missed the step on the way down but didn't miss the ground on the way down. It wasn't my fault though, I blame the step.
Copy that, boob photo proof next time.
The things you will do to get a glimpse of some boobs eh?
Yeah, I've had a similar incident when we first moved into out current house. The bedroom is smaller than the one in our old house. So there is less room on each side of the bed. I had eaten something that did not agree with me that day and had fire coming out the backend. I was able to finally go to sleep but woke up suddenly with little time to spare. Jumped out of bed and misjudged my spacing and went head first into the wall as I exited the bed. Put a dent in the drywall and about shit my pants on the way to the bathroom. Not a good night.
Oh man, a double whammy!
Well, at least one didn't bring on the other...that would have been a shitty night indeed. Literally.
Yeah, it was cartoonish for sure. I didn't even get to see boobs either.
No boobs, now that's a tragedy.
Oh boy, was this your first time? 😂 I only love my floor when I'm having seizures. Otherwise, I sleep in my bed…It’s more comfortable 😂 no, but joke aside…I hope you feel better. I fell out of bed very often when I was a kid. Now, it is impossible because my husband put my side of the bed next to the wall precisely because I wouldn't fall out of bed when I'm having seizures.
I've fallen out of bed as a kid, most people have, but it's not something I've had the misfortune of doing as an adult...until now of course. It wasn't the most enjoyable thing in the world but it could have been worse. Had I clipped the bedside table with my head the story might have been worse...for me and, I guess, funnier for everyone else. ☺️
This is hilarious! You've got a real knack for storytelling. That image of you tumbling out of bed on those luxurious sheets is so vivid. I can practically hear the "what the fuck" echoing through the house.
It's funny how the most mundane things can turn into such a chaotic mess. You went from a stressful work day to a blissful (or so you thought!) sleep, only to be rudely interrupted by gravity and those damn high-thread-count sheets.
I've definitely had my fair share of clumsy moments, though none quite as dramatic as yours. I once woke up in the middle of the night and tripped over my own feet, stubbing my toe on the nightstand. Not quite as eventful as your tumble, but equally embarrassing.
And you're right, it's important to find the humor in these situations. Even though it was painful at the time, you can now laugh about it. And let's be honest, the glimpse of boobs was a definite silver lining!
Thanks for sharing this entertaining story. It made my day.
I'm glad you liked the story, I tried to add some humour to what was a pretty annoying thing, so I'm glad you got a laugh.
Stubbing toes is not a good thing for sure, done it a few times and broke a toe doing it the last time which was only last year. I think it's best to try and see the funny side as I've done...but that only happens once the pain wears off usually. 🥴
As for the boob-glimpse...it's always a good day when that happens right?
Yes, boobs are awesome😊
We laugh now, but at that moment it couldn't have been pleasant at all 😅. Still, Mate gave me a lot of laughs; it was a very good description of the event😂
I have fallen out of bed before; it happened a few years ago, and I broke a collarbone. I suppose it was already weak, so I understand your concerns. Luckily, it was nothing more than a slight scare
Damn sheets!
I'll live to sleep another day, not even death could slow me down...it tried once, but I came back, dusted off and kept on going. Lol.
I hate that feeling when you have to go, but it is almost time to get up and you have to decide if you want to get up and then come back for like a half hour, if you want to just get up and stay up, or if you want to try and power through (which ends up leaving you awake anyway usually). I'm sorry about you falling out of bed. We got some higher thread count sheets a while ago and my wife didn't like them because they were so slippery. I guess we are just destined to be plebians!
I get it, sleeping right through is glorious. What's not glorious is landing on the floor in a heap of flesh and bones...I'm hoping I don't do it again in a hurry. Lol.
On one occasion I was on a very high cliff, the path was very dangerous, I felt the adrenaline of vertigo, many don't like it but personally it makes me feel alive, when suddenly I slipped in a strange way I tried to hold on but I couldn't and In the fall I was thinking how I came to die in this stupid way, when suddenly I feel the impact of the fall and even unconsciously I thought wow how did I manage to survive I must be pureed, when I open my eyes I was suddenly in the floor of my room on one side of the bed, happiness invaded me hahaha, strange dreams 😅
Falling out of bed while still asleep and hitting the ground certainly leaves one feeling like one has died. Luckily we're fucken tough and even death can't hold us down huh?
of course it doesn't stop us friend
That must have hurt!!! God! Those sheets are beautiful but they are too much hahaha I can't help it I died laughing... but I know that it hurt you. In the end you got your reward!
It must have been a long time ago... yes I have fallen, the thing is that I turn around a lot and in one of those I think I didn't calculate well and zaz! to the ground! Luckily I didn't break anything or it's because I have bones of steel.😂
I'm glad you got a laugh, that was the point of the post and I don't mind people having a chuckle at my misfortune.
I think people all fall in one way or another in their lives and what matters is boobs...I mean, what a person does after they fall.
Of course! That's the important thing hahahaha get up first then the rest... or you can look without getting up.
ah the sight of a couple of love puppies will gladden most mens hearts, revitalise their soul and start stirrings below the waist line.
and a thank you for sharing with is your GF's lingerie!
The puppies make such good company and just a bare glimpse can make any day much better now matter the circumstances.
We are in agreement
Oh be damned the comfy silky smooth fresh sheets that spit you out of bed 😅
This meme format came to my mind when reading the last paragraph
I'm not good at memes, something feels off 😂
Lol...not a bad meme,a little further development and you'll be on a winner!
Haha, so was it the new sheets or you expected your bed to be bigger than it actually was? 😅
As a kid I used to go trough my bed in all positions possible, including falling out of it (and now my daughter does the same lol, so now we put a mattress next to her bed when we're on holiday, for safety 😅 different bed is almost guarantee she's going to fall out of it)
I think the mattress on the floor next to the bed might be an option, that way if I fall out again I can just sleep there. 😋
LOL yeah when you sleep well you probably won't even notice until you're getting cold without a blanket 😅 but hopefully for you it was a one time experience!
Yeah, I'm hoping it doesn't happen again.
You're scaring me. I have never fallen out of bed yet, but I remember how one stuntman fell out of bed and died. The years are passing and I need to somehow insure my sleep, maybe I’ll move the chair to the bed :)
A few months ago I sharply braked the scooter and, flying 3 meters over the handlebars, landed my 117 kg on the asphalt. My palm hurt for a couple of months, but everything turned out okay, I need to take care of myself.
Fall out of bed and die? That sounds like it'd make a good post. I think I'll try it next time and when I come back from being dead I'll write a killer post about it!
117kg flying through the air for three metres? That has to be a world record!
:)
That's how capricious dreams are @galenkp, at least you didn't break your head. I advise you not to drink too much coffee, because at night you have hallucinations. Nice week for you. A hug 🤗
Yeah, hallucinations for sure...I wish falling out of bed was a hallucination...but it was real and hurt like real too.
I thought it was all a dream but as I read the whole story it's true, I hope you are fine now sir. What keep me smiling is when you've said that you still remember the glimpse of the boobs.
Nah, no dream, it was as real as it gets, the boobs too!
Tits as therapy 😂
Indeed.
Well, I can't let this one go hahaha. I'm rolling in my chair here picturing you in that old commercial. Having fallen and slow to get up. Perhaps a new Life Alert necklace is in your future?
(courtesy of Life Alert website).
And a new hip, and a condo in Florida.
Hahaha, I knew you would appreciate that one. I wonder though how many of us checked the distance to the edge of our beds 2-3 times or more last night, lol. I'm betting it's over 90%.
For those that may have repeating issue, a couple pieces of PVC pipe with elbow to have just one piece sticking up on the side works wonders for this. Similar to what they make for some bunk beds. Doesn't need to go the whole length for adults, amazing what a single one sticking up about abdomen level will do.
I was wondering if getting massive hard on all night would help...that way, one wouldn't be able to roll too far at all; a barrier of sorts, like a bollard. 😂
Well, the right boobs could achieve that I'm sure :)
Indeedly.
Yes I have fallen out of bed several times when I was a teenager because I always turn while asleep 😂 it usually painful some times i feel the pains for days but I no longer fall now
I reckon you might have bumped your head pretty hard a few times as well.
🙉😁😅 it a painful one ooo
I hope you get well and all the pains that you feel disappears. Do take care of yourself, health is wealth.
Cheers
I'll be ok, I'm pretty tough so even if I die I'll bounce back better than ever.
yea, i hate sleepless nights, but at least I can get stuff done.. :P
Well, the post isn't really about sleepless nights but those happen as well. Maybe take a read of the post and get an understanding of what it's about huh?
yes, you're right.. I often read until something catches my interest, then I comment on it. :)