For the past few days, my posts have been centering around the season. Goals for the new year, things to be grateful for, and simple reflections on how my year went. When I came across this prompt, the trait I thought I was going to write about, was anger. I thought I’d mastered how to control anger but something happened just yesterday, that made me realize that I’d gone nowhere when it comes to anger management. If anything, I’ve only learnt how to suppress anger rather than control it.
However, one trait I’m grateful to have let go of this past year, is worry. Reflecting on this, the past me, seemed to enjoy worrying. I worried about everything, things that were within my power and those that weren’t. I caused myself sleepless nights simply because I didn’t know how something was going to turn out.
Now, have you ever come across something so randomly, and you just know it was meant for you to see, you just know that everything that led to you coming across that thing was orchestrated from the very beginning? I remember randomly coming across a post where a girl shared a scripture about worry. In that scripture, God asked ‘why do we worry about things beyond our power? Has worry ever solved any of our problems?’
Simply reading that, made it really clear just how much I’ve been letting worry get to me. It felt like it was meant for me, so I went to my bible, read it and decided it was time to stop worrying. Before then, I’d been telling myself i wanted to let go of overthinking, but I never really went through with it. This scripture gave me the drive I never knew I needed.
Anxiety is a very exhausting feeling. You’re constantly weighed down by worry, fear and everything in between. The mere thought of an action sends your mind into a frenzy. A simple meetup will have you worried about all the ways it could go wrong. You buy a new outfit, and you’ve already pictured so many ways the outfit would look on you, both good or bad. It’s just so annoying because at the end, there’s nothing you’d do with all those thoughts. They aren’t going to determine the end result, so after all the stress from thinking, you’ll begin to ask yourself ‘what was the whole point of worrying?’ ‘What did I gain?’
Freeing myself from the shackles of overthinking wasn’t an easy journey to be honest. I constantly had to remind myself to calm down, to remind myself that I wasn’t in danger so there was no need to worry. In short, my watchword during that period, everytime I caught myself about to start worrying was ‘Calm down Oluchi, things would surely work out’. I had to pacify myself frequently, reminding myself that I was safe, and there was no need to worry. Although, simply saying these to myself worked, there were still times I caught myself worrying, passing it on to people around me in the process.
I’m so glad I’m over that phase now seeing how much more peaceful life has become at this point in time. Now I think clearly without having my thoughts muddled up, from overthinking all day. Life has never been more peaceful.
Thanks for reading.
Images are mine.
