What Went Wrong (And Right) During My BLEPP 2019

ᴾʰᵒᵗᵒ ᵉᵈⁱᵗᵉᵈ ⁱⁿ ᶜᵃⁿᵛᵃ

On this day, August 1, 2023, new batches of future mental health professionals are taking the Board Licensure Examination for Psychologists and Psychometricians (BLEPP). I can’t help but reminisce about my own experience and recall some unexpected events that led me to feel regretful and grateful. Here are things that went wrong (and right) during my BLEPP.

Many of you may know that I graduated as a BS Psych major in De La Salle Lipa in 2019. In that same year, I decided to continue my studies for my Psychometrician license, taking the licensure examination on October 27 and 28, 2019. I had the big idea of the license helping with my employment and having a valid ID, but admittedly, I didn’t know what to do after graduation. Resting made me feel guilty, so I thrust myself into studying again.

Wrong: I was underprepared on the exam day

A long line of anxious test takers stood outside the exam site and I was one of them. While waiting under the Manila heat, I recounted my things to bring inside: My pencils, my small bag, my extra eraser, and… I looked around me and saw everyone with a plastic envelope tucked under their arms. Huh. I had a gnawing gut feeling that I missed something, something really important.

So I gathered some courage to ask the person behind me whether we need the plastic envelope and to my gut-wrenching surprise, it was a requirement. You would not be allowed to enter if you didn’t have one. Panic-stricken, I frantically scanned the stores outside the university. I could feel my heart pumping out of my chest and my breathing had gotten quicker and shorter. How could I make this huge mistake? I overprepared studying for BLEPP and it’s like my mind couldn’t contain any additional info, thus, leaving out one of the most important things to remember.

ᴾʰᵒᵗᵒ ᵉᵈⁱᵗᵉᵈ ⁱⁿ ᶜᵃⁿᵛᵃ

All those days and hours spent making my reviewers, reviewing them, and sleepless nights, led me to this event only to be crushed by a forgotten plastic envelope? This couldn’t be happening to me, I thought. A nauseating feeling was rising on top of my head. I felt embarrassed for myself and shameful that I could have taken a second peek at the exam requirements before boarding the bus. But no, it took me being in line with strangers to realize what was missing. Honestly, the shame, guilt, and pressure almost got to me until I processed my feelings.

Right: I calmed down and asked for help

It was just a matter of minutes before I entered the exam site’s gates and a few seconds to get my shit together. The adrenaline was pumping through my veins and at that point, there was no turning back. Luckily, I saw street vendors with all kinds of school supplies, including, you guessed it, a plastic envelope. I called the vendor and bought the necessary exam materials.

Although my hands were probably shaking, in my mind, I conjured the best self-affirmations:

• It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them.
• The enemy of shame is empowerment and being empowered means taking aligned action.
• I am not a failure because of this single, honest mistake.
• I am not a terrible person just because I forgot.
• I can still take the exams and just focus on answering the questions.
• Taking the exam doesn’t have to look perfect as long as you show up.

ᴾʰᵒᵗᵒ ᵉᵈⁱᵗᵉᵈ ⁱⁿ ᶜᵃⁿᵛᵃ

Additionally, I also practiced mindfulness by paying attention to what the exam site looked like. I counted the trees and traced the edges of the concrete edges with my eyes. I focused on smelling the savory and delicious smell coming from the cafeteria. I went to the comfort room to ground myself and patted the face powder to look presentable. By the time I sat on my chair, I let the mistake of the plastic envelope go, like the wind carrying the dried leaves outside the classroom window, and answered the best that I could.

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Things don’t always go the way we planned and it sucks, however, we also have only little time left to panic before the best things in life disappear. Be quick on your feet and decide on the empowering choice. Practice mindfulness so you also get to enjoy what’s unfolding in front of you. Sometime in the future, you can look back on these “wrongs” and laugh about it and be proud of yourself for the “rights.” Then, you’ll come into the conclusion that maybe these are just “bloopers” that make life more interesting.

The good news is, I passed the exams with flying colors (almost in the Top 10 nationwide!) and attended the Oath-taking ceremony.

I hoped this inspired or comforted you in some way. For the test takers tomorrow, remember to check your stuff before heading to the exam location! 🤣

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Thank you so much for reading and supporting my blog 💜

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