I was thinking about how we fall in love when I did this facepainting titled The love maze. You see, I am mostly quite a rational logic driven woman. But in love.... I am slightly more... humane.
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The type of person which most would perceive as cold if they would meet me for the first time is the same person capable of great romantic gestures, love letters, cute notes and surprises. But the intensity of my emotions is greater than what I choose to show on the outside. I filter my emotions and look like an arctic iceberg when there's a fire inside. I need to constantly work on that.
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When we fall in love it happens in two places. In our rational mind 1 and in our emotional mind 2. We are torn. We feel something happening in that tiny heart.... And we constantly transfer it to our rational mind for evaluation. We think our love while we experience it. We think it instead of enjoying it. We try to figure out the spices while we get a taste of it. We can't fully enjoy our emotional meal without the thought of is this right?
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You see. I can agree that overthinking can be bad. But I can also agree that riding the wave of impulse love might give you severe emotional indigestion. Maybe even an ulcer of the heart. So I do believe that in love we need a proper assessment of the lover. To see him or her for what they are. It is of course good to wish for them to reach their great potential.... But we don't date or marry potential. We don't make babies with a potentially good woman or good man. We pick a good one from the get go. We choose what it is. If you take a tree at home, it won't magically convert into furniture. If you want furniture, get furniture, don't get a tree. Simple as that.
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In love we complicate it because we idealise and project. We meet bad people and we want to make them good. We meet wounded people and we want to heal them. We meet slow people and we want to rush them. We meed cold people and we want to see them warm and fuzzy. That's mostly wrong. It is wise to see the great in people, but we should see and commit for what they are, if we like it. Thinking like this will make many people make different choices. To change themselves or to change the partner. Either way, the maze of love will become much easier once we understand this.
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I personally think it is best to change yourself for the better than to change people. We need to discipline ourselves. We need to work on ourselves and change ourselves. Then we will start to behave better and make better decisions in all of our relationships, with our family, friends, employees/bosses/coworkers, partner. But that's my personal choice. What's powerful for me can be painful for you. But let me close this with a wise saying of Jim Rohn. In life you can choose between two things :the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. I will always choose the first for myself. What will you choose?
We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.
Jim Rohn
Have a gorgeous day and toodle loo!
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First of all, I love your art! This one is particularly colorful and powerful ✨
When I learnt that I couldn't change people, I decided to not commit to serious relationships ( love or friendship ) with people who are way too different from me, whose energies are just colliding with mine.
Meanwhile - like you - I keep working on myself, I keep leveling up and I believe that if I become the version of me that I'd fall in love with ( getting there ), I will attract those people in my life that I can seriously connect and fall in love with.
Much love,
Vincent
Thank you so much Vincent! I agree with you on this one too! I am also going through a similar process so I get what you are saying.
Hugs🤗
:<) 👌
Beautiful, creative and colorful as always!
I loved the tree-furniture metaphor, haha. So true.
I think that sometimes we don’t see that danger sign. It’s something like a self-sabotage. People tend to idealize others ( and I think we were talking about this before) according to ideas from stories, movies, books, society.
I love reading your posts.
Oh thanks, I love bright colours in bodypainting! Oh well the tree metaphor just came out of my mind, but it is true. Too many women/men take the wrong tree in their life, wishing for furniture after.
Idealization is dangerous. Although it can be useful when we use it in our dreams, goals, aspirations, in personal relationships it can be quite detrimental. I do believe that the right partner should make you want to be the best version of yourself. But that partner must be like a smooth warm breeze, to slowly guide you towards yourself. To not push you, but guide you. Too many times when we try to get things by force, critique, anger it doesn't work. For a change to last, it has to happen out of free will and in the inside. I believe that is the magic of love. To find someone to love for who they are, expect nothing, but somehow manage to make them reach their best potential. Have expectations of higher achievements for yourself, and the power of example will go a long way.
Some people will never change because they can't see how they are wrong. They are wearing the wrong glasses to see the life and no matter how much you try, you will fail to convince them to remove them from the eyes of their mind. Some people will change. For a lover, for themselves. Love can be a great motivator for some people. But not for all. It is quite relative. And... That is ok.
I am happy that you enjoy my posts, I experience the same feeling of joy when I write them📝😊
Have a lovely week-end Alejandra!
There is an awesome song that talks about putting on your love glasses.
haha. unfortunately most women have trees. Finding furniture can be a real chance. I agree with what you write. sometimes it is necessary to stop looking like an iceberg. If you are open and enthusiastic enough, you are likely to win. a furniture will perhaps want to see true passion. I send a kiss to your warm heart. and your painting work is successful again. congratulations Mary ♥️
Hey! Hahahha well that is true. I can admire a tree from the distance. But indeed it is painful for the tree to be cut down into the furniture that you want and witness all of that mess. We need to take what we want and make the best efforts to deserve only the best. The effort to change people is not worth it if you do with with force.
The power of example works the best for those who are willing to make a change in their lives.
I do make daily efforts to overcome Ice Age hahahah. Definetely not easy, but I work on it. It does help to show people more of my warm, passionate, curious side. I am sure that the right person would appreciate seing more of that from me and you are right😊
Thank you for appreciating my art and have a great week-end🎨
Beautiful illustrations! Indeed there's always that itch to change the next person beside us to suit our illusion of perfection.
Hey! Thank you! Ahhh you described it so well. An itch. We need to shake that sensation off as soon as we feel it. We can never change people, we can't force them to be something they are not. I am convinced that any person can become better and change themselves, but I made peace with leaving people just the way they are if there aren't any signs of improvement. I think this whole itchyness comes from our ideals of love. From our expectations. From our inner insatisfaction with what we might be ourselves. I find that investing our energy in what we want to be, do, say is better than investing that energy in someone else. As soon as we become better, our whole perspective will shift.
Our projection is indeed an illusion. We have projections for the past and for the future, ignoring the now. Here it is the vital mistake most of us do. They choose partners based on what they would want from them in the future. Once you let that idea go... People will either change, walk away or stay. It is very simple actually to make good choices, that is why we complicate it.
Thanks for reading this and have a lovely week-end😊📖
Well said. Enjoy the rest of your weekend😊
Thank you! You too!
Nice paint.☺You express very well on how being inlove☺☺☺
Thank you!
Very much welcome☺☺☺
🌞
Definitely beautiful, I love your makeup.
Hey! Thank you very much!
Beautiful makeup the colors are vivid and very striking
Hey! Thanks very much, I love this kind of colors for facepainting! Have a lovely week-end!
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