One general misconception in conversations is that being silent and not actively speaking means you are out of words but truly, it helps one process the conversation and gain insights and understanding before speaking. In fact, it gives the other person the space and freedom to share their thoughts easily with you, posing you as a good listener and not one who cuts off conversations.
In this article, you will learn how silence can lead to more thoughtful responses and help foster meaningful conversations with people.
The Act of Active Listening
Listening to a conversation comes with a purpose other than just responding to the person's reply. It requires one to grasp at full knowledge of what the person is talking about and also the intent and emotions being conveyed in the conversation. This is why rushing into replying to a conversation without taking a moment of silence to analyse, understand and have a depth of understanding might make one go out of context or not resonate to what had been said.
When we listen, we should not listen to respond but understand that we are listening to understand, listening to connect with the other person and see things from the point of view of what the other person is trying to convey.
Silence as a Tool for Expressing Thoughts
Having a moment of pause before giving your say is better than rushing in only to say off point. This pause does not mean lack of words but instead helps you analyse your words in a clear and easy-to-understand way. It prevents you from speaking rashly out of thoughtlessness, as words being said cannot be taken back.
I can remember when I was sharing an experience, and I spoke without pauses, without having to process my thoughts appropriately. At the end of the whole conversation, a friend walked up to me and said that at every point of my speech, I was always saying hmmmm, and she found it difficult to understand me.
I learnt that it is okay to take a moment of silence in a speech, be calm to analyse your words and structure them in a way that you can be well understood. You will definitely get better in time.
Aside from making a speech, in the moment of anger and difficult conversations. Taking pauses to reflect and structure your response carefully can prevent misunderstandings or conflicts from escalating.
Silence Encourages Learning
In a conversation or when you are amidst people, it is great to come off as one who is not available to seek other people's point of view. People will repel from sharing their thoughts and ideas, which can be profitable or beneficial to you.
You may lose out on what you could have learnt and value that would have added up to you only if you just had given space for others to share their perspectives.
In the moment of silence, one can absorb new ideas, learn from the other person's point of view and also be open to growth. With silence, you will get to observe people and get to know who they are and how they think from the words they say.
Speaking with Wisdom and Purpose
After being able to read the other person, understand his point of view during your moment of silence. You would be able to resonate more powerfully than those who only listen to reply.
And when you speak while making thoughtful pauses, you would be able to reflect and communicate easily, choosing the right words that would go in line with what had been said, observed, and noted during the moment of silence. This can make your words more compelling, understanding, resonating and accepted by the other person.
As a person, being able to use silence as a tool in communication opens you to learning, better understanding of other people's perspectives, and expressing your thought with wisdom. This is why you should not rush into responding in a conversation or listening only to make a response.
So ask yourself, have you been approaching conversation using silence as a tool to understand the other person? Have you been jumping into making responses to conversation without actually listening to see things from the other person's point of view and see the points in their ideas?
If not, then you should take note of what you have learnt here today and start making use of silence as a tool in your everyday conversation to see how it transforms the way you interact with others.
You are absolutely right here. I use silence a lot when conversing with someone.
At first it was to avoid unnecessary arguments, but later I discovered that it gives me time to understand people and also think properly before speaking.
We value quality over quantity, right?
But anyways, it's not easy to be silent when the other person is confidently speaking nonsense. We need wisdom and patience.
I see where you went to. It looks like you have already been using silent as a tool from on set. I understand how it feels when you are in conversation and you hear someone confidently speak rubbish.