The one code I live by in life is loving myself for who I am, which is self-love or self-priority. This is one thing I have learned over and over again, to keep loving myself irrespective of what people think or say about me. Prioritizing myself first is one code that I will not deviate from no matter what because if I do, that will hurt me and the last thing I want is to hurt myself.
Image is mine
We are in a world where kindness no longer has value, going out of your way to satisfy people is no longer appreciated. In a world where sacrifice is now seen as a show-off, why then does one have to keep going the extra mile to satisfy others? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's bad to be kind; it is a good quality to possess as a human, but then it's inappropriate to be blinded by the love for others, forgetting oneself or forgetting one also deserves the best of the best.
It is possible to love one's neighbors more than one loves his or herself; I've seen practical examples of that. A situation where someone worries less about his or herself and says once others are okay and fine, I am too. I don't want to live my life that way. The holy book also says, and I quote, "Love your neighbors as yourself". If self-love is absent, how can I possibly love my neighbor? Some people are wallowing in pain daily because of prioritizing others over themselves; they go out of their way to put smiles on people's faces, and in the end, they get backstabbed, leaving them in regrets. I've learned not to do too much for people, help when it's necessary, be kind when it's required, and show love when it is appreciated, not at the expense of one's happiness.
To humans, self-love is a crime because once you care for yourself and do things that make you happy, you will be tagged as being proud and selfish. Some will go to the extent of wanting to ruin that happiness and this is not limited to strangers. Some so-called loved ones are also seen in this category, which is why being cautious of one's environment and that one walks or works with to avoid unnecessary dramas in one's life, something we call "see finish" in Nigeria.
One thing I have come to understand in life is that you get more friends when things are going well with you, that is when you have something to offer them. Once there is nothing to give anymore that's when you will realize the real ones in your life. Multitudes come around when you place them above yourself, but anytime you decide to love yourself and prioritize yourself, or you say no to any of their requests, then the fight begins. Pleasing others can be a big deal sometimes because you will wonder after everything is done, you are still not appreciated.
Thanks for your time, and your comments will be appreciated.
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Most people feel self-love is an abomination. "Why?" I believe if we don't love ourselves, then we can't love others. Love starts from within before it is extended to the general public.
Your life code is something I admire.
It is really important to take care of ourselves even while trying to take care of others. Only attending to the needs of others without paying attention to ours never does well in the end.