Whose Fault?

When it comes to a child's upbringing and giving the child the best training, in the end, such a child becomes a nuisance in society, I wouldn't blame the parents, and again, I would blame them. It all depends on the factors at play.

Parenting isn't an easy task as it takes both parents to be there to support and help each other in training a child. They say when a child is being trained and nurtured well, he or she should try to train himself or herself more so that the whole upbringing would be easier on the parents' side. But sometimes, the environment plays a bigger role.

One cannot control how society behaves especially when one finds themselves in such a location. Parents need to define and watch out for the kind of environment they want to train their kids in.

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The environment in which a child is brought up is important in the life of a child because when being trained in an environment where there are silly kids around with some young adults adding more salt to the injury, it becomes difficult to bring up a child around there. After all, no matter how hard the parents try to train the child, he or she will still be influenced negatively which would make parents think they aren't doing their best.

Parents need to consider the best environment for bringing up a child and more so, they must be available every time to look out for such a child and watch how he or she behaves. When parents do not give time to their children as all they want is to chase after business, career and money, it would affect a child. In my culture, it is a normal thing to accord respect to the father when a child is doing well and blame the mother when he goes astray. This is something unfair to the female gender but that's not what we are talking about here.

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Let's take me as an example — I was brought up in a toxic environment where there were lots of touts and misbehaved children, those who would look down on their parents when they were being scolded, husbands and wives fighting every morning and the whole place would be hot, we grew up to see this happening every day and would try to copy such bad behaviour, and being around hooligans, it was easy for me to want to be among despite how strict and disciplined my parents were.

All thanks to a quick observation and intervention, I was taken away from such an environment to live with my aunt where my life got changed. My parents did their best to train us in the best way but I was almost influenced by the environment and those of my mates before I was taken away on time.

You see, we wouldn't blame some parents because they did their best but the child decides to go his own way due to external influence. In my culture, they say four eyes would give birth to a child but thousands of eyes would help take care of him or her. So, when an environment is corrupt, it affects a child's upbringing which would lead to becoming a nuisance in society but when an environment is in unity and cooperation to make a child responsible, no doubt the child would be the best in behaviour and everything.

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On the other hand, some parents would be blamed because not everyone is fit to be a parent. Most people rush into marriage with the wrong mindset — just to give birth and with no understanding of how the whole upbringing works. Let's say we have a man who loves to scold a child at the slightest mistake and we have a mother who would support every wrongdoing of the child, the mother would be blamed and vice versa.

Many times when I see some parents failing in bringing up a child to become responsible through their behaviour and not being a good role model to the child, I shake my head because it clearly denotes how the life of the child would be. Children love to imitate what their parents do whether in the wrong or good way. So, parents should be careful especially when they want the best for them. Some parents wouldn't care about their children's future and just leave them to do whatever they feel like.

In conclusion, blaming the parents or not would depend on the factor at play because sometimes, children too are at fault as they have the choice of whether to accept what they are being taught or not. In some instances, parents have tried their best but the child just wishes to go astray making them question their parenting journey all along. Also, laying the foundation most times for a child is very crucial as the Holy Bible says, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.