Raising Resilient Kids: The Balance Between Support and Independence

I had a discussion with my dad some days ago and he started praising and appreciating me for making him proud. Sincerely, he was extremely excited when he heard that I was posted for my service. He started reminding me of how I strive hard to be the best and making him proud while proving to everyone in the family that what they thought I couldn't do, I did despite not being able to provide all we needed.

I didn't come from a rich background as my parents did not have enough resources to train us in school especially in the higher institutions. We grew up understanding what life is and how we must push ourselves to be the best.

Life taught me a lot of lessons amid challenges and adversities. As of then, I wished my parents were wealthy and that we were born with a silver spoon. I would watch other kids of my age whose parents took care of and provided all their needs, but there, I witnessed how many young children went astray despite being brought up with wealth.

Our condition made us determined and we had the big picture of becoming a better version and one we would be proud of who we are, and yes, God has been faithful all the while till this moment.

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A lot of times, I have had to think of my future and my unborn kids, with the thought that I wouldn't want them to go through what I went through but to give them a soft life and upbringing. But that doesn't mean I would pamper them and make them fully dependent on us, their parents because it is risky when such a thing is done. When kids have the understanding that their parents will always be there for them no matter what, it wouldn't give them the confidence to navigate life on their own especially when their parents wouldn't be there every time.

I don't want my kids to suffer especially in the aspect of providing every resource they need to become the best, but at the same time, I wouldn't spoil them with the wealth we have gotten and make them feel they have everything they ever needed.

This will make them not want to challenge themselves and face life as it should be. They need to learn life's lessons on their own. They need to face some challenges so that they can be tough and determined to be on their own rather than depending on their parents because no matter what, we won't be there forever. They need to be taught how to do things on their own, i.e making choices and decisions even though there would be advice for them.

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I don't want my kids to go astray or become a bad example to others but to become responsible, so, it's not about providing them with all resources without instilling in them proper training and opportunities to face life on their own so that they would learn how to be independent to solve problems but with the thought that their parents would come in once in a while but they must be left alone to navigate and apply their imaginations and ideas to solving whatever issues they may face.

This will always prepare them for the great things that lie ahead of them and will be brave enough to handle them because I would teach them how to be resilent just like I am doing now.

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