Why Dads Deserve Paternity Leave

I was still in my recovery state after birthing my first child when my husband got a threatening text message over losing his job if he missed one more day from the office. It was just day 2 after my delivery, and there was a lot to run around in the hospital over the stable health of my premature baby and that of my well-being. There was no one to do all the running around for my child and me except my husband, and yet he was denied just a few days to be with me and my child. He needed to secure his job, as money is also important to sort out bills, and he also needed to be around and do the needful in the hospital. At this point, I wished that fathers were being given paternity leave just like women, even if it's just one or two weeks. How we coped with those periods is a story for another day!

The arrival of a new-born baby completely changes the routine of the parents. Two days ago, I wrote a post about my experience with postpartum depression. Some of the causes of postpartum depression in a few women are the feelings of overwhelming stress. Women pass through a lot right from the pregnancy journey to the delivery day and even after delivery, as providing comfort to a newborn comes with sleepless nights. A lot usually leaves the woman's body after birth, and thus such a woman deserves all the care, love, and rest she can get, and obviously, the husband is always the easiest person to provide both the physical and emotional support such a woman needs. It becomes a concern when the father of the newborn is tied down with office duties and has no paternity leave to be with his family when they needed him the most.

Here in Lagos State, Nigeria, all civil servants who are women are being given the privilege of taking six months of maternity leave with paid salaries. A time to take enough rest and be fit to return back to work. This is indeed quite supportive for women considering what they have been through with their childbearing. However, when we talk about the father of the baby getting such treatment, my response will be that fathers truly deserve paternity leave, but not as long as women who birthed the child and are nursing the baby.

A father's bond to his child is important, as is supporting his wife in any way possible after her delivery for her better well-being. There are usually sleep interferences due to the cry of a newborn. A father can relive the mom a bit of the stress of keeping awake and cuddling the child. While the father takes his turn to do this, the mom takes a little sleep, which is necessary for her well-being. Some people will argue that fathers didn't enter the labor room, but the truth is that, through my experience, father pass through emotional stress and tension while waiting for the arrival of the newborn. Starting with the pregnancy journey, it's always a journey for both couples, just that moms carry the child.

In summary, I think that fathers also deserve paternity leave, but with a shorter duration. Taking a time off work to care for his newborn definitely comes with dad-baby bonding and also strengthens the relationship of the parents as they both share responsibilities in caring for the newborn while providing emotional support for the mom also during her postpartum period.

This post is in response to the #hivelearners community contest on the topic titled, Paternity Leave.

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