Listening is a skill most people, including me, assumed we had until we got humbled practically and proved wrong. I used to think that listening simply means keeping quiet while someone talks to me without me interrupting the person but keeping nodding and responding to whatever the person is saying. But then, as time passed by, I discovered that all along, I wasn't a good listener but only stayed calm waiting for my turn to respond.
If we must get it right, then permit me to say that a good listening skill entails that my full presence should be there while the person speaks without my mind wandering about, losing focus on the speaker; it also requires that I stay humble and be patient to listen attentively, share with the person's feelings, and proffer solutions in my capacity if possible.
From my real-life practical experience, I realized that not everyone can actually listen on a deep level; some just hear and forget—they don't listen. If you truly listen, you should have a valuable contribution to the speaker because you care and your mind is there. Permit me to say that I have been learning to be a better listener than a hearer through the influence of nice friends around me who have discovered the true value of listening before now.
I think I should just use my recent experience with @bruno-kema. Sorry for the tag. You know, this guy has a very great listening skill. He deeply listens to all I have to say, whether it's a lengthy talk or a shorter one, reads meaning into it, and starts asking me deep questions to help him guide me rightly with whatever assistance I need from him. I had varieties of gallops in the new business I started recently, and then we got talking when I was still setting up a lot of things, and sometimes I share the progress and challenges with him; he never forgets anyone. He will always listen and give his view on what he feels about the situation.
It always sounded as if he were part of my business with the way he was concerned, and that's the attitude of a friend who shares in your feelings and strives to proffer solutions in his capacity. He doesn't forget because he isn't a hearer but more of a listener, and that's why after one month or a few weeks, he will return back to ask about the update so far. A hearer wouldn't even remember because he or she isn't connected or sharing your feelings or burdens; only listeners do, and that's valuable on a deep level.
Recently, I was sitting with a friend at a place here in Lagos, discussing something very sensitive that had been eating her up. She took a long time to pour out her heart with me, and I listened to her, not just heard her—there is a difference between the two—and when we were done, she said, "Thank you, Nkem, for staying to listen to all I have been saying. I feel lighter now."
Even as a mom, I try not to dismiss my kids through certain actions when they keep talking repeatedly but rather listen to them and understand them better and then spot their fears. This can only be gotten when you do more listening than hearing.
The thing is that it is rare to listen deeply because effort is needed to achieve that. Sometimes again, your ego needs to be laid aside, especially in relationships. It also needs that we slow down in our busy world to really listen rather than hear, but the good news is that embracing the art of listening has a way of revamping relationships; it could also help build trust and bring a better understanding among each other.
In conclusion, most people want to be heard, but only a few are good listeners. Since listening is an art, you must deliberately practice it to get it right.
Images were taken from canva
I just try my best.😏
Listening has a lot of attributes, it tells you more about the speaker, and many times people and gives you a fresh perspective that the speaker might not have been privy to.
Everything is in a rush these days, everyone is in a hurry. To calm down hear wetin person won tell you na by connection.
In the end, we just have to be more intentional about it. That's all.
You're doing well.🤗
You are doing well chief ...fresh perspective is inevitable when you listen well to the speaker, but most times,we are in a hurry to catch up with millions things and don't listen
U got a great attribute Bruno..
Keep the ball rolling and thanks for everything
Only a few are good listeners. Actually, it's rare to find some people who listen and not forget even after days and you'd be surprised how they never did. I am still learning this. Listening requires our full attention without our mind wandering around. You must be present and not absentminded.
Absent minded has dealt with most of us...I am deliberately learning listening skill oo
Unfortunately most of us hear but not listen. That's why most time the can't give you any solution not because the can't but they never listen
Of course...u hv nothing to offer if only u are a hearer
Yes
I'm not a mother yet, but I know when raising kids it's important to be a listener, pay attention to every details while listening to them .
You just have to listen more and talk less and it influences them positively.
The ability to listen holds great value and it tells alot about a person.
You are learning so well prior to being a mom😍
Quite unfortunate how Information always gets missing from one person to another, listening should be qualified as a skill because very few people listen and very many wants to be heard
It's a great skill normally and a rare one to possess
Your conclusion is inspiring and that's truth. Talk is cheap but listening is a heavy work.
Merry Christmas.
U can say that again bro
Compliments of the season
I agree with you hearing is not listening. One need to give attention while hearing anything. I didn't talk with Buro-kema with serious issue but I can understand it well that his writing is quite thoughtful and a thoughtful person is a good listener most of the time.
I agree with you...he is a thoughtful being ..resource personnel
Listening Is an art. A big one for that matter. And it's rare
Sure
Hmmm, this is very true. The title attracted me to this post and I now understand a listener, a good listener must be able to give valuable advice and provide solutions. I have not been a good listener.
I haven't been a good listener either...I keep learning too
Listening takes a lot of effort that is why most people don't listen. Listening does a lot for relationships of whatever status. It's interesting to note that most arguments that spring up between person is because none of the party wants to listen, everyone just wants to be heard.
Of course my darling
I.love the little became u give here
It happens always
Thanks for coming around 😍
Thank you very much