How I started writing - my first writing!

Hey everyone!

I just felt like sharing my writing journey by sharing my first writing and how I started writing, before I start my actual blogging. This is my first post here excluding my introductory post.

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I feel like everything started at a time.. we all started everything we do now, today or what we are currently working on at a time.
Many people may feel or say “I was born with this”. But trust me, we all started at some point to develop our natural gift.

I was not born with writing skills, it was never my natural gift or talent or whatever you can call it.
I basically developed writing not so long, I was not even really good with grammar. I mean I can read and write in English but I was never really good at it.

Personally, I think writing is not about English or a very nice grammar or a very well structured sentence forming a paragraph and paragraphs to form a write up but it is all about my thoughts and feelings.

So I can basically write in so many different languages according to my own perspective or thought at that moment.

I only try modifying or correcting it to a general English which nearly everyone would understand when I want someone else to read it. I feel like It is not necessary to super stress or rank my brain to get the perfect grammar at the moment. Lol

How I started writing

I started writing about four years from now which was around 2018. I was in my first year in my senior secondary school. ‘Cause that was when I realised that there is more to just making friends and playing around.

I actually have this friend she likes to writes. I don’t know, but in some ways she actually motivated me to write. Most of her writings was poems actually and quotes.

What really actually motivated me to start writing is the fact that I really wanted to express my feelings, sometimes they are some stuffs I can’t just explain and most times lead me to overthink.

I am a reserved person and in most cases,I find it hard to open up to people. It’s just preferable to dump it down in a note and most times there is no one to express them to. So, I rather pen down my thoughts than have them cloud me.

What are my inspirations? Some of my inspiration are music, situations around me, movies, nature and my day to day experience.

Basically, I realised that writing down stuffs is a really nice thing to do. Apart from the fact that it relieves the brain.. it has helped me in my reading aspect and studying aspect. It also helps my concentration and focus.

This was my first writing.

It’s all in my head, it’s the only thing I have left
And it’s so hard to compress
‘Cause everything in there matter
Buh I swear my head’s heavy
And it’s so hard to neglect
When everything in there matter.

Honestly, I can’t explain the feelings
I don’t know if this is how we all live.
Maybe I am just overreacting perhaps too weak
I swear I thought I was capable
I thought I could hold things up
I swear I thought I was not a coward.
It hurts. It hurt that I cry over it.. over and over

I kinda thought people might care
But it seems like I am just the twelfth choice.
It is killing me, and I don’t wanna tell anyone
Because everybody wants something fun enough
And I don’t wanna let them down.

I killed myself, just to pretend.
Sometimes I sound like a hypocrite
And sometimes I hate myself
They call me names.
Like I am not somebody’s daughter
I gave it my all even those I can’t afford
Is this how we all end up
Or is it just me?

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