The bond of dining together

Dining together as a family is one of the things I learned from my parents. It is like a culture in my lineage. When I was growing up, eating dinner together was a must unless a circumstance beyond one's control prevented him or her.

Once it was time for dinner, my mother would dish food into about four plates for a family of six. My older brother, my cousin, and I would have our food served together on one plate. My sister, as the only female child, would have her own served for her separately. The third plate is that of my father. My father had a friend that stayed close to us. Both of them would eat each person's food together. My mom serving herself would make up the fourth plate.

I wasn't privileged to grow up in a setting where there is the luxury of having a dining room. What served as dining space was an open space outside our apartment. My father's friend and his family live on the other side of the space. Whenever it was dining time, his family and that of my father's would come out to eat and discuss our experiences earlier in the day. It was in my dad's culture to ask us to give him a recap of our experiences in school. In many instances, this would remind me of the fee that I was told to bring to school the following day. My dad would make jokes, jokingly blame himself for inviting trouble by asking us how our days went. The experience I had those days can't be forgotten.

Dining together brings a unique way of bonding as family. The greater impact is felt by eating from the same plate. It became part of us till this moment. If I visit my brother today, his wife knows that he is dishing our food on the same plate. The same thing applies to my wife. If my brother comes visiting, she knows that we are eating from the same plate. This is not to undermine the fact that we individually eat with our wives on normal days. The meeting of my brother and I is something that happens once in a blue moon—more than two years since we last met. Eating together is a way for both of us to renew our family bond in the memory of our late father.

Over the years, I learned that dining together creates and sustains family bonds. The time of dining is a good time to settle differences. It is a good time to share love in its purest, undiluted form. It is believed in my culture that you can't join hands with your enemy to eat from the same plate. Whoever you willingly agree to eat with on the same plate is your friend.

This is a tradition that I am adopting for my young family presently. My wife and I eat from the same plate. Of course, there is no better way to rekindle our love than to dine together and have fun while at it. It is my desire to also make my children eat together from one plate. I have a son, and my plan is to have him eating with his younger sibling from the same place when the time comes.

I believe in the potency of advancing the course of stronger family bonds by dining together as a family.