The quoted statement above is the approximate translation of an adage in Yoruba language that shows the importance of paying someone that does good things for you with gratitude.
True to the statement, I feel worthless in my actions if the recipient of my kind gesture shows no gratitude or goes as far as playing down what I did. I see no difference with losing my properties to a thief. At least, receiving gratitude wasn't even expected in the latter case.
I had an experience in this regard with a friend that paid me with ingratitude after helping him in my own way.
We had a break from my University and I went to the village to work for money to augment whatever my parents would give me for the new session.
I was into farm work, helping people to make ridges on the farm. A farmer consulted me to help him cultivate his piece of farmland. The work came at a time when the date of school resumption was approaching and I needed to raise a substantial amount of money before going back to school. I grabbed the opportunity and the following day, we went to the farm in order to show me the farmland and to negotiate the cost of doing the job.
We got to the farm and after showing me the land, he pleaded with me to find three people to join me so that we could finish the work in three days. The payment was a certain amount for each person's daily work. He wanted the work to be done as early as possible so that he could plant immediately. The period was also a transitional period between the rainy season and dry season. He wanted to avoid a situation where scarcity of rain would hinder completion of the work. I, on the other hand, was in need of money and I preferred doing the work for as long as 12 days so that I could raise a reasonable amount of money from the work.
After considering my interest and that of the farm owner, I pleaded with him to allow me to find only one person to join me and do the work for six days. I promised him that whatever becomes the texture of the land in the event of no rainfall, we would finish the work for him. He agreed with me and that was how I told my friend to join me to do the work.
He had been out of work for days and he was happy that I called him to join me for the work. I explained every detail of my negotiation and other discussions with the farm owner. I told him how I pleaded with the farmer to allow two of us to do the job for six days instead of having four of us do it for three days as preferred by him.
The following day, we went to the farmland early in the morning to start the work. The farm owner met us in the farm about two hours later and he was impressed about the area we had covered already.
Discussion came up between the three of us while we were doing the work. The farmer renewed his preference of having more hands join us to finish the job earlier than six days. I assured him again that he should be patient with us to do the work. I promised him that he wouldn't regret it. My friend was quiet throughout the discussion.
We finished the work for that day and returned home.
The following morning, we returned to the farm and met my friend's elder brother in the farm working. I couldn't believe my sight. I asked my friend about what was happening and he told me that it was the farmer that reached out to him to find someone to join us to do the work within a shorter period.
A few minutes later, the farmer arrived and I asked him about his reasons for not trusting my promise.
He was surprised as he spent some minutes explaining how my friend came to meet him to allow him to bring his elder brother to join us in doing the work so that it is not caught up with lack of rainfall. He claimed that I was in the picture of such a plan.
I denied having any knowledge of him bringing his brother to join us. Both my friend and his brother were standing dumbfounded. The farmer was disappointed and he pleaded with me to allow the two of them to work that day since they were already on the farm. He told me to look for someone else to join me in finishing the work. He frowned at such a betrayal.
On our way back home, I confronted my friend for not showing gratitude to me for inviting him to work but going as far as inviting his brother without my knowledge but he downplayed my complaint that there wasn't a big deal in inviting his brother. I didn't argue or show further disappointment since the farmer had done justice to the issue.
I looked for someone else and we did the remaining work in another three days.
The experience taught me to get ready for ingratitude from people I call friends. I moved on with the conviction that people are uniquely different.
I am still in talk with my friend but he is the last person I would ever have anything to do with in terms of work, business or money.
Such friends don't deserve anything from us i really pain when you experience ingratitude
You are right. They don't deserve one's time and commitments.
Yes dear but they will not stop us from offering help
That's unfortunate. Instead of being grateful, he even dismissed the idea that you felt betrayed with what he's done.
He was stone-hearted towards seeing what he did as a wrongdoing.
Well, you can't really know the mind of another except yours. He taught you a lesson and sometimes, we need just the right opportunity to prevent us from greater calamity in the future
Dr. That's so lovely. Imagine not knowing in time and going into business partnership with such a character. It could be catastrophic.
Very true, thank God for the early exposition
And there is a great complexity in human relationships. It's difficult to understand why some people take such actions, but there's always a lesson for us to learn!
Very difficult to understand. When you sit down and put yourself in their shoes, doing the same thing as they did would not be an option. What's their conviction for doing it? I don't know.
Wow, he was willing to sabotage you for the sake of his own selfish interest, for someone that invited you to come and have a piece of the cake, he decided to take it all for himself, if that farmer wasn't a man that frown on dishonesty he could have gotten away with it or worse
Such friends are not meant to be kept around, they do more harm than good.
Such friendships are burden. Not worth the energy at all.