One of the fears everyone has is the fear of death and even though we know that death is inevitable, nothing can prepare us for when it comes. Sometimes, you might not even be afraid of your own death but the death of a close one, especially when you realize that you can never see them again and the only experience you will have of them lies in memories. It becomes worse when you aren't on good terms with them or you haven't spent time with them in a while before they die, that sudden realization can be quite brutal.
Death is one topic many people don't ever want to talk about even though it's the inevitable end to all life that everyone will meet one day (unless scientists finally defeat it) and there is this superstition that some people have about death that if you talk about it, then you're inviting it, meanwhile in actual sense death doesn't need an invitation; if it's your time it will come whether you think about it or not. I have been fortunate enough to not experience much death of my loved one, the only close person whose death I have experienced is my grandmother.
I'm talking about my maternal grandmother, the other one is still very much alive. My grandma stayed in the village and back in the day, we used to visit her frequently. She was a very jovial person and loved cracking jokes a lot and I guess that's where my mom got her sense of humor from. Back when I was still a kid, I loved teasing her a lot and would always get in trouble which would prompt her to start chasing me around trying to discipline me (which was what I wanted in the first place 😅). One other reason I loved visiting her a lot back then was because of her pets.
In Nigeria, the most common house pets are dogs, especially the Basenji breed but it was in my grandma's house that I found out that people kept cats as pets in Nigeria. She had a bunch of them and they were very beautiful, most of them had pure white furs. The last time I visited her, I wanted to take one of the kittens back with me to the city but she said they were still very young and she promised that she would give me one of them the next time I come visiting. Well, that next time never came because she died a couple of months later.
I was still in secondary school when it happened and this was back in 2012. I remember when we heard the news of her passing, it was at night and I was having a conversation with my siblings in my room when we suddenly heard a scream from my mom's room. We all rushed there and met her crying, that was when she broke the news that her mom had passed away. My heart sank when I heard it, that was the first time I had lost someone very close. The crazy thing about losing a loved one is that you will still be living in denial until you actually see the corpse for yourself, that's when reality sets in.
I couldn't really process what it all meant when I heard the sad news and things kinda went back to normal after a few weeks. But when I realized the gravity of the situation was during the funeral ceremony, which happened the following year (2013). There's this tradition where the coffin is placed in the living room of the house where the funeral ceremony is taking place and everyone will slowly walk past it to pay their last respect. Well, I did that and seeing my grandmother just lying in there with eyes closed in eternal rest confirmed the gravity of the situation.
I still remember the one thought that came to my head when I walked past the coffin; "But why does death even exist?" I never knew the answer back then and now I still don't know but I have come to accept it. I just had to console myself with the fact that she is now in a better place and she didn't die ultimately (she lived up to 90). She lived a fulfilled life and I'm pretty sure she had no regrets on her deathbed. It has been 12 years since her passing and we have all moved on from the whole thing. One thing about time is that it heals all things, even though scars do remain sometimes as a means of remembering that which we have lost.
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Kids today don't value the importance of their grand father, I am an old school and i know it very well, how important are our grand parents for us. Their experience related to life is a teaching for us. I feel sorry for your loss.
I appreciate your condolences. Grandparents certainly have a wealth of experience to share and their life lessons can be incredibly valuable. Thanks for stopping by
Grandparents are like god to the younger ones as they impact so much knowledge into us. Glad your grandma lived a fulfilled life and her memory still lives with you.
It is a wonderful thing to know that even though she's gone, her memory continues to live on through me and the rest of the family. Thanks for stopping by
Yeah It's indeed wonderful.
U welcome
I used to feel like I was on a treadmill walking towards old age and eventually death.
Now I am in my 30's with so many regrets and missed opportunities. and now that we have been at war for almost the entirety of my lifetime, im struggling to see what the point of human existence in and of itself is. What will come after the nukes are all eventually used is something I think about now.
Nothing will ever change in our society.. because.. "Its not that bad"..
So lets vote for the lesser of 2 evils and watch it all burn.
it's important to remember that life is a constant learning experience and even though we can't change the past, we can still use those experiences to make better choices moving forward. I don't know the situation of things in your country but I would advise you not to give up on life yet, whatever it takes just try to survive. Thanks for stopping by