For years now, there has been an ongoing debate about who is to be blamed for a child’s misbehavior—is it the parents or the child?
I will start by saying that raising a child is not an easy feat; it requires a lot of hard work, dedication, patience, and perseverance. I was raised by a single mother who had to bring up five of us all by herself, and I can tell you, it wasn’t easy. But then she tried her best to raise us in a good manner.
There is a saying , Charity begins at home , which suggests that the foundation of a child’s behavior comes from their upbringing. Whenever a child misbehaves or engages in criminal or immoral activities, society tends to point fingers at the parents, and claim they didn’t raise the child well.
However, what about those instances where children come from good, and respectable homes and still choose to do the wrong thing?
Take, for instance, i know some of my mates in school who were raised and brought up in strong and respectable Christian homes, with families that have deep faith in God. Yet, the moment they get to school and are out of their parents' watch,they start acting out of character and start engaging in behaviors like smoking, drinking, or sexual immorality. Some even get caught and end up being expelled from school. On situations like this , can you still say the parents are to blame?
The truth is, there’s always a limit to what a parent can do. They can’t watch over their child every moment of the day, nor can they force them to make the right decisions. There have been several cases where my mum repeatedly warned me against involving myself in certain things, and yet I went ahead and did them anyway. In those cases, she tried her best, but I simply didn’t listen. It’s unfair to place all the blame on parents when, at some point, a child has to take responsibility for their own actions.
With that been said, there are some situations where parents are to blame. Back in my previous neighborhood, i know some mothers who support their sons who are involved in internet scamming. These mothers sometimes come together, celebrate, and even praise their children for engaging in these illegal activities.
Now, how can you expect these boys to turn out any different , when the people who are supposed to guide them are encouraging their criminal behavior? I know poverty is a big factor here but then i think poverty is no excuse for glorifying such actions, and it’s clear these mothers are far from being good role models for their children and even the society at large..
On the other hand, there are also parents who genuinely want the best for their kids but fail to give them the attention they need. Some parents are so focused on their work that they barely have time for their families.
They may even teach their children good values , but without spending quality time with them or creating an environment where the child feels comfortable to open up to them and say how they really feel, those values may not show in them. Many kids today, engage in harmful activities right under their parents’ noses, and the parents don’t even know because they’re just never available.
It’s also important for us to acknowledge the significant influence that society and the environment have on a child’s behavior. Nowadays, children are exposed to various influences from social media, movies, music, and peer groups. Even if they come from homes where good morals are taught, they can still easily get influenced by what they see and hear online or in the media. In that sense, society plays a role in shaping their mindset.
If the environment a children stay in , are surrounded by those who constantly promote negative behaviors, it becomes even harder for them to stay on the right path and do the right thing.
In this aspect, i will say individuals and institutions within the society like content creators, or even musicians should do better in providing positive examples and be role models that children can easily emulate.
At the end of the day, a child needs guidance and support from their parents, but they also need to make their own choices and decisions. Parents can only try their best and do their own path but then , the rest is up to the child do what's best for them.
If a child decides to ignore the values and good morals that has been instilled in them by their parents at home and choose to go through a destructive path in life, then i feel that responsibility falls on them, not on their parents. As the saying goes, A child who does not listen to his parents will go astray.
To sum everything up, i think the responsibility for a child's behavior is a balance between parental influence, societal impact, and the child’s personal choices.
the image is gotten from Meta Ai
Wow! A lot has been said in this post. It is enlightening. Just to add, I believe majority of the bad behaviors exhibited by a child can be curbed if training begins early enough. Parents should realize that you can't train an adult, you can't tell him or het what to do. At this stage, you can only advise them. That's why the bulk of training is done when they are still children. At that stage, they can absorb whatever it is they are taught. Also, for children that come from good homes, it could be negative influence from friends and mates. So parents should also pay attention to the kinds of friends their children keep.
Thanks for sharing