Re-examining Friendships.

From time to time, I like to pause and re-examine how much has been going on in my life. The goals, the progress, the mistakes, and the people. It’s not something I do only on New Year’s, but there’s something about a new year that naturally triggers that feeling of wanting to adjust a few things. Starting new routines. Writing new resolutions. There’s nothing wrong with that, really. For me, it’s just another ritual people perform, sometimes more out of habit than intention. And if we’re being honest, a lot of those resolutions end up living and dying on paper.

Still, when I dig deeper into this idea of new relationships, I realize it’s something I’ve already been working on. One major lesson I learned last year was coming to terms with people’s actual place in my life. The word friend used to come as freely as breathing. Anyone I had spoken to once or twice could easily earn that title. But I later realized how tricky that was. The moment I called someone a friend, I unconsciously set standards for them. I expected loyalty, consistency, effort. And when they couldn’t meet those expectations, disappointment followed.

So I decided to reshuffle. Friends remained friends. Colleagues stayed colleagues. Acquaintances were simply that. Random people became random people again. After that exercise, I had a realization that was both funny and uncomfortable, I didn’t actually have many real friends. That meant another round of re-examination, and yes, letting some people go quietly. No drama. No long explanations.

Will I do that again this new year? I can’t say for sure. What I do know is that there are a few people in my life currently on what I like to call a personal timeout. A mental pause. A space where I observe. I expect better behavior, more self-awareness, a little effort. If that doesn’t happen, then I’ll let them go too. Not out of anger. Not because I’m counting down to some emotional explosion. I’m willing to give people time. Generous time, even. But peace is still the final decision.

The funny thing about the future is that nobody truly knows it. I’m certain I’ll meet new people this year. I’ll probably work with some of them, build things with them, share moments, and move through life together for however long it lasts. But I’ve made a little promise to myself that I won’t force closeness with anyone who isn’t helping me grow in some way. There’s no point keeping people close when you’re constantly pouring into them and no one is pouring back into you.

A change of network can be good. I’m open to it. If I meet people who bring positive influence, healthier conversations, and better energy into my life, I’m embracing that fully. With both hands. But changing my circle isn’t the biggest thing on my list. Honestly, the few close people I have right now can barely form a circle. Maybe a triangle on a good day. And that’s okay.

I’m not automatically cutting people off, and I’m not letting everyone in either. This year is about intentionality. About choosing relationships that align with my values. Nobody is perfect, myself included, but life feels lighter when you’re walking with people who understand your direction. So yes, it’s a new year. Yes, there may be new people. Or the same people, just with firmer boundaries that don’t threaten my peace. However it unfolds, I’m choosing growth. And this time, I won’t overthink it.

Images are mine