We're in a loud and noisy world; one so loud and rowdy that it makes focus and attention so hard. We're ourselves distracted by the noise and the ever-increasing nature of it. The thing is, it doesn't just end with oneself as an effect, but it goes to affect our relationship with family, friends, loved ones and people at large. One sadly significant and prominent way is with regard to the matters of listening.
There's a misconception when it comes to what listening entails. This is mostly misconceived or misunderstood with hearing. I was reading a book where the writer made it clear what listening means and should be. He mentions that “Having someone to talk to is different from having someone to listen to you.” And that “Listening is wanting to hear and only a few really listen when you are talking to them.” I got to understand that, in this rowdy and busy world, many talk, many hear, but only a few listen.
Image is mine.
Listening goes beyond the intelligence of the sensory system to accommodate and analyse words spoken. Hearing requires the action of perceiving and comprehending words spoken, with little or no intentional effort in the discussion or conversation. With listening, it has to be an intentional effort to not just hear words, but to accumulate these words and the intended message, and then give a befitting, necessary feedback or reply.
I've discovered how valuable and necessary listening is when I learnt to listen to some people, and how such a little effort meant a lot to them. I'm not saying I've got this listening thing totally figured out; because there are moments I hear people talk but my attention is probably on my phone or something. Nevertheless, I've tried in several instances and I've seen the beauty and value of listening; to myself and to others. And when I did talk, I understood what it feels like to be talking and someone isn't listening.
However, I must say that I'm grateful for some of the people I have around me. Many have tried and learnt to listen when I talk. It might be some of our funny conversations or something serious, but they tend to listen. How I know they listen is their tendency to trace back to those discussions in the future, making the right references to some of the things we discussed. I consider this to be one way we can find out if people listen or if we really listen as well. Being able to do that shows one was listening and not just perceiving words.
Image is AI generated.
I guess this is something that our world should address. We're getting too busy to listen till it could be too late to listen in the end. I believe that one good effort to listen to someone can be a life-saving moment. It's a highly depressed world we're in, with many victims of the depression it spreads. Only if they can find someone to listen to them, not just hear them, someone they can talk to and be heard. If we could also find such people, I consider it would go a long way. Listening is beyond hearing, it's the intentional effort to hear.
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The funny thing about listening is that people consider it to be a natural attribute since it is synonymous to hearing but it is all about intentionality. For listening to take place, a person needs to be willing to do so, not because he/she can hear but because whatever the person have to say at that moment is all that matters and worthy of your time.
That's it. There's a misunderstanding about this things called listening and you've rightly highlighted it.
Thank you.
Thank you for the support.