Apology is something that sits differently for a lot of people. There are many of us who find it easy to do it without any problems at all. And then, there are those who find saying sorry very hard. It can be like asking them to pull teeth. When I think about this, I can’t help but think about human nature. We all have that inherent need always to be right, no matter the situation. We abhor being wrong because it could mean that there is something we don’t know. And as such, many of us find it hard to apologize. Saying sorry means you are admitting you did something wrong, didn’t know something, or are just giving ground for peace to reign. These are things some people would never do. They have this obscure pride that seems to forbid them from apologizing. They just want to be right all the time and instead of saying the simple words, they will simply dance around and try to use other acts to cover up. Eventually, you will have to give up. Personally, I am a person that has no issues with apologies. Especially when I am in the wrong and I’ve realized my mistake. If I have to apologize, I can even do it profusely. This is because I hate hurting people, and if for one reason or another I have a hand in doing it to someone, I apologize. The only time when I don’t say sorry so easily is when I am not the one in the wrong, as a matter of fact, I was the one wronged but I believe the other party was trying to play the victim with me. Once I get the idea you are trying to play me, getting me to do anything with you will be like pulling my own teeth. It will be difficult! However, there was a time I had to apologize and move on even though what happened wasn’t my fault. It was something I did for peace to reign. When people move into a new area, there are usually some different sets of rules that apply there that they would have to learn. Many of them can’t be learned at once, so over time as you continue to live there, everything will come to you. That was what happened to me when I first moved into the area I am currently staying. There is a rule in my gated street, and it states that by 6 PM every day, commercial bikes are not allowed in. The only bikes that will be allowed to come in are bikes belonging to residents of my street. This was understandable, considering the need for security and safety. However, this rule was not posted anywhere. It was not written anywhere at all, the only way you will find out about it is if you were told personally by someone. Or you were caught and fined! The latter happened to me when a bike dropped me off at my compound at about 8 PM, the guys in my street swooped down like eagles on me and the bikeman. One of them promptly took the key from the motorcycle and disappeared, while the others negotiated our fines. This was the first time I was hearing about the rule and personally, it didn’t feel right to me that such a thing was not posted to warn off people like me that didn’t know. I and the bikeman were fined. I tried to explain to them that I was new in the street and didn’t know about the rule. One of them told me it wasn’t an excuse, that the bikeman was supposed to know. And even at that, I was supposed to see the poster out front at the gate. I was like… what poster? There was no poster there! What was this guy talking about? This was my first real interaction with people in my area and I just didn’t want it to go off on the wrong foot. So, I killed the matter by apologizing and agreeing to pay something (I paid N500 as against the N3000 they were asking for) small to appease them. I promised them it would never happen again. That event introduced me to many members of my street, and they got to know me as well. So I don’t really see it as a bad experience. If I had chosen to argue and prove I was right that night, I’m sure the guys in my area would have had a different image of me by now. Who knows what it could have been?
Suzy Hazelwood
Alex Green
Nuh Rizqi
Spencer Selover
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Those guys were willing to go head over hills to get what they want, thank God you did not try to argue.
Omo... I just let them have their sense of victory. There was no point for anything else.
Thank you for reading.
Apologizing that night saved you 2500 and I am sure it was the beginning of interaction between you and the people in the neighborhood. Imagine if you have chosen to argue, it could have led to a fight and it might turn into something else.
Yeah... one thing that is bad is kicking off your stay in an area with everyone seeing you as a potential troublemaker. How can someone grow in such an environment?
I'm glad it worked out in the end.
Thank you for reading.
And those guys would be ready to take it up hard on you,,, at least you did what you had to do for peace to reign and the matter dying down. Some people will want to use advantage of you even when they know you aren´t wrong anywhere and they aren´t ready to listen to you.... so bad but doing what feels is the right thing can save you.
Omo... I grew up in the streets of Lagos. One thing I would never do is get into an argument on my own against a bunch of guys I don't know. And in the night again?😂
Nah... That sorry is a small price to pay.
Thank you for reading.
Those guys do not care especially when you do not know them. So, it´s better to avoid trouble and leave quietly with no issue with them. Lol
This kind of people are toxic set of people. I do my best to stay away from them.
I also love the way you were reasonable enough to calmly approach your neighbors and settle whatever came up with an apology and reasoning.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Have a great day!
Toxic people indeed, but when the case is reversed, they would want you to apologize. Hypocritical set of people!
Thank you for reading.
Exactly!
It's a pleasure stopping by.
I learnt one or two1
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I’ve seen people do something wrong and even when they text or call to apologize, they just can’t seem to push the words out. In situations like that when I observe you’re someone that rarely apologizes, I keep quiet and allow you struggle to say you’re sorry because that feeling of uneasiness you felt when you finally uttered the words will be a reminder to not do whatever you did that warranted an apology in the first place. In a few cases, I help pave a way for them to apologize by asking them questions that’ll help them apologize easier.
This is pure narcissistic behavior! I just made my own post on the topic and reading this part, I realized I actually wanted to say something like this, but my words were lacking and I couldn’t really phrase it like this. I have this same problem with apologies!
There are people so skilled in making themselves the victims, even when they are the ones to do wrong. They will try and turn it around, guilttripping you into blaming yourself and apologizing for something they orchestrated. They are the worst set of people.
Thank you for reading.
Exactly! And they do it so well bro, like it’s scary. Some people do it so well that even they are convinced of their manipulation.
This is a very dangerous trait, believing your lies. Because then there is nothing that can be done to save such a person.
I have always been a person who found it difficult to say sorry, due to pride, I always dodged or tried to justify blame, but definitely changing this type of attitude has helped me to have more tranquility and peace, I consider that when we doubt or he tells us sorry it is because those apologies are not so sincere but there are times when it is necessary to pronounce the words to avoid conflicts, as happened to you, greetings!