Are Parents Always Responsible for Children's Misconduct?

Parenting is one of the most challenging roles human beings encounter in their lives. Once we are a parent, a lifelong responsibility is tied to us. Parents have to deal with emerging emotional, spiritual, physical and material needs and requirements of their kids regularly. Every stage of parenthood journey brings with it unique challenges and demands.

Parenting is not merely about bringing a new being in this world and provide them with food to grow their bodies, rather parenting demands the elements for psychological and ethical nurturance of a child also.

When the children are young, parents are the people on whom they are dependent in multiple ways. Parents’ conduct, treatment and guidance has an impact on the emotional sustenance of the child. How parents treat them and their surrounding is likely to create a lasting impact on their point of view about themselves and the world.

Actions speak louder than words, we know. Best parenting is the one where parents lead their children by example. They display the behaviors and attitudes that they want to inculcate in their offspring. They should be disciplined and mannered in their treatment if they want to see the same traits in their children.

Children mimic the behavior they are treated. I used to say “good boy" to my son whenever he complied with me. Once I helped him in something he was struggling with. He happily complimented me with the words, “good boy". He was hardly 2 at that time, but he had learned through my behaviour how to respond to someone when we are helped.

I believe parents have a lot to do with the way our personalities are mould. Our perception of good and bad, right and wrong, and desirable and undesirable is instilled in us through parenting. Being mistreated by our parents and caretakers often leave us with scars that live with us forever.

Nevertheless, there is no guarantee that a parent's efforts to raise a morally upright child will always yield the intended result. Sometimes, all the efforts of parents prove to be futile when other factors come to play. These other factors may be social exposure, peer pressure, other personal experiences and perceptions.

It’s a general observation that all the children of the same parents are not exactly the same in their conduct. Sometimes, the difference are slight, while at other times there is a drastic difference of ideologies and conduct between siblings. Despite being treated in a similar fashion with equality by their parents, the differences among the children are inexplicable.

Whenever a person demonstrate a misbehaviour or misconduct, parents are the ones who are blamed. In many cases, parents might be responsible but no judgement can be passed unless we the truth for sure. Sometimes, the children tend to do the exact opposite of what they are taught and displayed by their parents.

As a Muslim, I have a faith that prophets were the best and most upright people who were sent to the earth. They were exemplary in all the roles of their lives. We have stories from the lives of prophet where we find even those holy men had the kind of children who were not good in their conducts and intentions.

For example, Prophet Jacob's son tried to kill their brother, told a lie against him and kept on being abusive to their father for decades. On the other hand, the early teachings of prophet Jacob to his son Joseph acted as a light to guide him towards the path of modesty and truthfulness, despite the fact that he was no longer in touch with his father.

Another example is from the life of prophet Noah. He couldn’t convince his own son to follow the righteous path of God Almighty.

In short , I am of the opinion that parents are responsible for what they provide to their children in terms of emotional and spiritual nurturance. Nevertheless, whether the provision will turn into something fruitful is not always guaranteed. Along with providing our children with best resources, we need to seek the blessing from Almighty to turn our children into successful and upright individuals.

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This post is my response to Hive Learners prompt for week 133 edition 1.

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