When it comes to relationship issues, I am careful discussing it , this is because a lot of people have different experiences with many not pleasing to hear.
I believe true relationship should start with friendship and genuine interest in the other person. But many have ugly stories to tell when it comes to relationship, not just the ones they try as fling, even the one that had led to marriage also crack. I believe that if you are in a relationship, you need to be careful, open up your eyes and sense, not just your heart.Know when to let go.
I once had a relationship with someone but I decided to let it go when He became unreasonable. How would the parents of an adult be fighting? Everytime the Dad gives the Mum a red eye and all the guy says about it is that his Mum deserves it. If I don't let go, then He would have learnt very well how to punch me later too.
Many have stuck to toxic relationships because they believe things will change or they do not want to start all over again. Some fear what people will say - the ridicule they may get from the society. An adage in my place says; it is either one is laughed at or mourned. Everyone ought to know the one to choose.
Though some madly in love may choose to stay, some other people have found cheating as a good reason to call it quit. Some might choose to forgive but if you can't, do not judge yourself, let it go.
While participating in this prompt, I remember a story I heard about a lady. For the sake of this post, I would refer to her as Christabel.
Christabel fell in love with a man She thought was God sent. Their love blossomed and became the envy of other friends. They were love birds. Her friend, whom I refer to Mike was managing a marketing job. But Christabel had a big provision shop; her business was thriving. She introduced many of her friends to Mike to serves as customers who aided his marketing career.
As I was told, Christabel also supported Mike financially because his salary as a marketer was meager, besides it was based on commission.
As their relationship grew, Christabel kept asking when they would take it to the next level. She wanted to be married. Mike always discard the discussion, believing that he is not financially stable. But Christabel was ready to support him; She believes money was not her own problem.
At a point, she decided not to initiate the marriage discussion anymore but planned to buy household items which Mike would see and be convinced that they surely do not need much more before coming together as many as wife. As she buys, she sends them to Mike's home, ( gradually equipping their supposed home). Oftentimes, Mike would visit her shop and collect provisions for free and also "borrow" money from her , which she never asks back.
One weekend, Mike told her that He was traveling and may not be around to see her, Christabel prayed for him and wished him a safe journey.
That weekend, as Christabel was busy selling in her shop, a friend of hers visited her and asked for her boyfriend or supposed fiance. She told her friend that Mike had travelled for the weekend, for something important. Surprisingly, her friend brought out her phone and showed Christabel a short Video and pictures.
Her supposed fiance whom she had been supporting financially and even buying " property" for, believing that they will soon get married was actually having an introduction party with another lady.
As in some cultures, when you are interested in a Lady and wish to marry her, apart from courting her and giving her an engagement ring, an important step towards marriage is an introduction. On this day, the groom to be brings his parents or friends to the would-be bride's house to make their intention known. On that day, the parents of the Lady become formally aware that a man is asking for their child's hand in marriage and they can give the requirement list for marriage to the groom's family and if possible fix the wedding date.
That was what Mike went for. While spending Christabel 's money and avoiding the marriage topic, he tricked her one weekend and went to "knock" in another lady's family house for marriage intentions.
Christabel could not believe her eyes when she saw the pictures but she maintained her cool and begged to get access to the pictures. A few days later, Mike came back from his "journey" and pretended everything was well. He even called Christabel beforehand to make a delicious meal for him because he was tired and hungry. Christabel had the opportunity to retaliate, she thought about poisoning his food.
Some minutes later, Mike came calling, hugged the Lady and asked for his food. Christabel asked where did he travel to and how was his journey. He said it was for business and somehow, he has made some new clients where he went. He demanded for food again. It was then Christabel asked him where she had gone wrong. He was shocked. He said Christabel hasn't wronged him and everything is going on well, why is Christabel asking questions.
It was then Christabel opened up and told him that someone saw him introducing himself and his family to another girl's family for marriage. He swore he wasn't the one, He swore that someone wanted to ruin their relationship. Christabel knew he was a devil himself, a big liar. Christabel cried, but he tried to console her that he has nothing with anyone else. Then Christabel showed him the pictures. " Who is this in the pictures?" She asked.
It was then, he opened up and began begging that his heart is with someone else even after all Christabel had done for him.
So why was he fooling her all the while? Even after introduction ceremony with another girl, He is here with Christabel again, what are his intentions? It was then She knew that he had no single love for her but her money. I guess Christabel would have funded the wedding for him unknowingly. So She decided to let him go and She was very disappointed.
COULD THE SITUATION HAVE BEEN SALVAGED?
No. No one should marry a liar and a cheat if you knew before marriage. He will never change. Do you think the other lady somewhere knows He is back to again after the introduction ? How long can he continue to fool everyone?
Well, even when Christabel decided to let him go, she had gone to his house to pack everything she bought with her money. Those items that makes the guy think he is ready enough for marriage, Christabel packed all. She also threatened to go to his office and disgrace him if he doesn't return the cash he borrowed him within a set period of time.
Christabel lost the relationship she nurtured and hoped it would lead to marriage . This happened four years ago. For four years she hasn't opened her heart to love again. Cheating can be so unbearable sometimes . I guess she lost interest in men or she is now twice shy after been beaten once. Do you think she has taken too far? Will she ever love again?
Thanks guys for stopping by again today. I appreciate.
This is why I believe that saying that "there is nothing hidden under the sun".
Mike thought he found a foolish gold mine and he tapped in as he liked forgetting that karma is a bitch.
This is why most persons counsel ladies not to love too deeply because they might abuse that beautiful emotion.
Christabel was able to do what she did because she was a kind and loving person but good old Mike thought she was boring. I'm glad she confronted him and took back her assets that she bought. By the time Mike saves up money to buy properties, he will realize the mess he put himself in.
Cheating, insincerity, violence and dishonesty is a deal breaker for me. I will not hesitate to let go of such toxic relationship because like you stated a leopard cannot change its spots.
I think women should be wise and not become helper of destiny to an irresponsible jerk of a man. I know no one is perfect but a man who can be responsible and committed to the relationship, is the man worth doing all for.
Ladies should stop this what will people say propaganda. It is not people's life you are living but your life and you only have one life.
Staying in a toxic relationship helps no one at not the lover not the lovee.
Glad to have my point.
Have a great weekend sis
Hahahaha, crazy relationships are really annoying. I bet he is going to lose the other girl too, news will still reach that girl that another girl has come to pack everything in his house. You can't eat your cake and have it, some people are just too inhumane. What they do to other ladies, they can never wish it for their Sisters.
Thanks for stopping by Dear, I see your point, I feel you.
Thanks a lot 😁