A Familiar Place

I don't like being the one in charge of picking places. Don't like the way it hints at the life I should perhaps be leading, the knowing of places where you can hang out. I don't hang out, not really. I was talking recently about clubs with someone and they mentioned one, I said I think another's nicer, and they went - oh so that's your club. I said yeah, sure. Wondering all the while at the fact that I'm supposed to have one. Came as news to me.

Much as I like coffeehouses, I don't have one either. I don't know which ones are cool, and always end up trying to pick a nice one that others might like. Googling shit that might interest regular people. It's weird. I wish AI would leap forward and understand better the way my mind works, just how antisocial I really am.

So asked to pick a place recently, I figured fuck it, since I'm gonna be out and about for a couple hours, I'll pick a place I like. I actually wrote about it here last year, it's this lovely old teahouse near my house where I and my closest friends grew up. You can click the link if you wanna see a very young Honey.

It's a beautiful garden, and it definitely dominates my memories of the place, but the inside's lovely too, and since winter insists on being a thing, I reserved a table indoors. Just wanted some coffee and cake (and yes, the cake is as delicious as I recall it from 10 years ago - that was certainly a nice discovery).

The lady who took our order was actually disappointed since nobody actually ordered tea. It seemed quite a letdown, but I get quite cranky if I don't have enough coffee going, so wasn't in the mood to compromise for her. It being a teahouse, they didn't actually have that many coffee options in the menu. None of the usual flat white or cappuccinos on the list, so I ordered a simple French Press coffee with milk. I don't normally drink milky coffee, unless it's the occasional flat, but I figured maybe the coffee's bad and that'll help.

I was surprised at how good it was. I'm not the biggest French Press fan. I remember the first time I used one - I was babysitting for this family over the weekend and was baffled at the contraption, but somehow I made it work (otherwise the outcome with two small, very headstrong children might've been very different). But it never won me over. And while I still am far from trading my beloved moka pot, this French Press stuff that they served was delicious. Tasted like actual coffee, as opposed to the machine stuff which tastes a little artificial. I mean it's great, but it's a different taste, you know? I like ordering coffee and finding grounds still in the cup. That's real coffee.

Anyway, even if it hadn't been good, even if there hadn't been loads of sweet treats, even if the company hadn't been so nice, I still would've enjoyed myself.

There's something interesting about sitting in a room you know well, in a place where you feel at home (despite not having visited in probably years). The table we were at, I'd sat at with my best friend when we went for my 19th birthday. We'd gone for a photo shoot. You ever see those girls, one's the photographer, the other one's the model and there's different outfits and poses and like 5 social media likes? That was it.

I don't think I ever truly mastered the whole 'act like you're not acting' photo thing.

Anyway, it was fun, and I was kinda confused. I think I was mad at my boyfriend. It was this whole other life.

Over there, across the room was the table at which we'd had our first date. I kept glancing over at the quiet, romantic light, trying to remember how inexperienced I was, how awkward I must've been. I remember being a packet of nerves the whole day. There were lots of good times here, and I found that I carry in myself a general map and memory of the place. And it was nice. Not feeling like a passing guest.

I took a few photos and felt, as I always do, incredibly awkward about it.

It's something I can't get used to and I'm glad that in the early years when we started coming here, social media wasn't that big a thing, otherwise it would've all been posing and being someplace else. Wondering who out there admired the good time we were supposed to be having.

Needless to say nobody took note of me as I snapped the photos - it's just normal now. I wouldn't, normally, but it's such a pretty place, and I wanted to tell you about it. :)