Hello Hivers.
I have missed visiting on here but I needed to focus on my school, home life, relationships, and getting over a little-big sad. Yes, I had the Sads for a little while, but I am back up and want to document while I am up and here!

---

---

GARDEN UPDATE--YAY~~!!

Okay, I want to start off with sharing good news, so one major update I am thrilled to share is the family garden! I thought I saw mega growth a month ago, but now the food is starting to come in and it's absolutely wonderful. I like to thank Pachamama each time I receive a zucchini (they're producing the most at the moment). I like to express my gratitude, for Pacha gifted me and my family, and hopefully plenty more, with fresh, organic squash that can be consumed in various forms without any concern of its origin. I like to give back to Pacha my used tea herbs, my hair, song, and fruit peels.

The leaves are massive on the zucchini plants! It's wicked awesome to see the little critters that are venturing into their personal wilderness underneath.

A CUTE little cucumber in the making! 💚

I am absolutely amazed with the way the catnip is developing and continues to just...grow! It just...keeps growing, haha! It's incredible and I adore the fractal patterns. I feel so happy knowing my cats will also partake in consumption of homegrown medicine.

---

---

Music vibes and Shamanic guidance~

To help boost me out of my lows, I decided to re-listen to some classic favorites of mine that I haven't heard since, maybe, high school. It's definitely cliché to listen to upbeat music to beat the blues, but I don't care! Sometimes I end up wallowing in my own self pity that leads nowhere. However, I had the safe space to express myself with my partner, @dungeonmaster93, who also hosts Shamanic Sunday Sessions by the way, in which he guided me inwards with subjective questioning from an objective perspective. As an introverted person, this felt greatly successful since I won't always be able to hold a subjective conversation with myself while remaining objective. I think it can be very helpful to have these personal questions asked by an outside source as a way to reconsider and redirect any maladaptive thought processes. I ask a lot of questions; many of which I don't know the answers to, hence why I ask. Furthermore, I have discovered within myself some parts that are in need of mega healing before it totally manifests and consumes my physical way of being again.

Prior to our conversation, we had met up and were driving in the car. I get into "music moods" where I listen to the same thing over and over again until my "mood" changes and then the music changes as well. I share this classic, perhaps underrated (I'm pretty young but I never hear old-school Prince fans talk about this album, let alone this song!!), Prince song, "Play in the Sunshine". I LOVE this track--it is SO much fun!! I usually am self-conscious of singing and dancing with others around, but when I am with Yaretzi I don't hide that side of me because I know she won't judge me or make fun of me if I suck. Ha!! I totally started to let loose when it was us and her dad in the car and I felt so free! Free to be me. 😊 I love to play and have fun, but I can relate with my dear cat, Juhani, when she gets shy and chooses only to play when alone or with a trusted individual(s) around. It has been my dream to just enjoy my life to its fullest with song, dance, music, COLORS, and a variety of life surrounding me (plants, animals, cool humans--haha). This is a track that reminds me of that dream and that it can literally just BE. Reality.

---

---

Healing in the Rain~

Well, for anyone who has read my previous post, Freedom in running and being still, I definitely went for a quick run this past week with the intention of trying to outrun the oncoming rain in the sky. And yes, I brought my daughter with me as usual. I definitely pushed myself (physically) to keep running without any walk breaks in between. I made a total of two short walk breaks to catch my breath. I was already halfway home and the rain was starting to lightly drizzle over us. "Shit!" I said to myself. "I have to keep going, there's no stopping me now." I pushed myself and landed on my feet differently to have more of a spring in my step. It's pretty funny how the mind works under pressure! 😅 As expected, Yaretzi didn't mind the light drizzle at all and was having fun with the droplets. She's mesmerized with the rainfall, but I felt embarrassed I didn't have her prepared for any rain. I definitely had to get us home in case it was a cold, hard rain. I'm definitely prone to getting sick this way and since we're genetic, it might affect her the same way and I didn't want to take any chances by slowing down! I had another tune playing at this point, which I would like to share too. It's "Come Together" by Primal Scream. One of my longtime friends introduced me to the album Screamadelica back in high school and this is one of my favorites.

This track hit me in a different way this time. I felt united. I was connected. The sky was showering me with fresh kisses and encouraging me to free myself in my run. I was very conscious of my freedom at this moment of just pure bliss of not giving a damn but reciprocating the affection with open arms. I opened my arms, welcoming each drop onto my skin, laughing and singing with Yaretzi. I was running with a pep and she was riding in her stroller with a bit more wind passing through her hair. We were heading for the sky! We passed by the neighborly cows and moo'd our greetings. I slowed down to take a walk break and catch my breath, looked up to the sky with a big grin, and said, "Thank you," to Inti. After a couple of breaths and big steps, I made a sprint to the house.

---

---

The Big Sad: No bueno, just stressers

After all of that, I will like to keep this part short(er) since resilience is what builds upon our character and reactions to stress. I want to shine a light on resilience more than dwelling too long in the Sad.

I cannot ignore it, but parts of my body have started to go numb and my joints will sometimes get "stuck" and cause me physical pain that put a limit on my abilities at times. I blame myself since, in the past, I let my anger, pride, and ego get the best of me and I rejected a lot of help when I needed it. I had put a lot of extra, unnecessary strain on my body and it's already showing past due effects... I like to be mobile and active. I like to relax and kick back too, but most of what I do on a daily basis consists of my whole body in motion. Physical pain has never stopped me, but when I can't move my body like my brain signals it to plus sharp pains or zapping numbness, it makes me think twice about moving fast without much thought. I am definitely not as afraid to request help. I'm not trying to break my body!

As for schooling, I am only re-taking one math class. I had a 2 week head start. After I couldn't access 4 out of 8 of my exams, I started to lose motivation to even finish the course. I kept on with it, but it wasn't as fun with the blockage/rejection. I was able to get in touch with my professor. She was very helpful and much better to talk with than my previous professor for the class. I'm glad I didn't stop though because I am practically finished with the course and my professor opened the exams for me through an alternative gateway!

I actually really enjoy playing around with numbers and functions. I was able to stay on track throughout and have more confidence in my math skills again. I even learned something new in regards to trigonemtry! I know how to calculate theta in radians and degrees within a circle as well as how it relates to triangles!!! I think it's super cool how algebra and trig connect with one another. It's like one big abstract language with a different dialect or vernacular. I genuinely feel some sorrow that this is my last academic math class. I feel motivated with a structured math course like this, but perhaps there are courses outside of the institution for enrichment learning. One of my goals that my partner and I have discussed is to learn more about the mathematics behind cryptocurrencies and how that is run. If you have links or input, definitely hit me up please!

---

---

I will leave it at that for now. Otherwise it becomes irrelavent. Perhaps any lessons I learn out of it, I will share in the future. 😊

Goodnight and sweet dreams,
Mystery K~ 💃 ❤️
& Babu 🚀 ❤️