If I knew my months were counted in single digits instead of vague forever, I would think about the small things I keep postponing as if I owned time,
But if I knew this body was already on its last chapter, would I still waste whole afternoons on grudges, silent treatments, and scrolling through everyone else’s life but mine,
And if I knew the clock was louder than I pretend, I would start today by choosing even one moment that makes my soul say, “at least I really lived this part fully”…
End of pretending happens when I admit I am not an exception to the rule, that my name can also be the one whispered in urgent waiting rooms too,
But the end of pretending also raises a question, if I genuinely believed I was a dying person all along, how much gentler would I be with myself, with others, and with my day,
And end of pretending tells me, I can stop living like I’m immune to endings and start living like awareness is not a curse but my kind of mercy…
Imagine this: a magic mirror that shows you which worries are just illusions—like what others think of you, what you haven’t bought yet, or how you stack up against everyone else,
But only if you could imagine this: a sickness was written on my chart tomorrow, would I still care this much about minor slights, delayed messages, or someone’s passing opinion of my life,
Imagine this: I can start letting go of fabricated emergencies now and reserve my emotional strength for what truly matters if time is nearly over…
Balancing today means confronting the unvarnished truth of my day’s spending, without sugarcoating or making excuses but I simply acknowledge the reality of my situation,
In order to maintain a sense of balance today, if this were my final entry, would I be willing to sign my name beneath it and affirm, “Yes, this truly represents me”,
And balancing today tells me, I can treat every evening like a soft closing of accounts, making tomorrow less burdened by what I refused to face today…
• I am already a mortal person walking through temporary days
• I do not own time, I only borrow moments
• Awareness of endings can purify how I live
• Fake emergencies can stop ruling my schedule
• I can start closing each day with honest eyes
