Call Me Pilot Jhymi

I don’t think curses have been rained on network providers like this year. Not sure what has happened, or maybe if it’s owing to the general deterioration of the country, but network reception gets poorer and poorer by the day. Everyone, myself included, keeps exclaiming that if this network providers are tired of providing network for the masses, they should just open provision stores and let us know. It is that bad.

I’ve had some really bad network experience in the past. One I remember was when I was at another campus for my first year. The location of that particular campus was known for its poor network. While it was fairly manageable for Airtel, MTN was completely unresponsive. No matter where you went. Luckily for me, my room was on the topmost floor and cause it was near the mast, reception wasn't too bad.

But a lot of times, network failed and I’d just be staring at my phone, thinking about my life and wondering who exactly I wronged to have network bail out on me at such vital times. Those moments made me do productive things, though. But let’s not go there. This post is all about cursing network and network providers, lol.

I think my worst network experience was when I went to my village in Imo state. Hmmm, do I even need to say a lot? I kept looking at my phone while it looked at me. My Mom’s last sister was getting married, and it was a big event. I didn’t have to do much. Mostly look after the ladies’ bags while they cooked at the backyard, and can I just say, it was a very trying time. Imagine being cut off from the world for an entire week. I don’t think I’ve read e-books more than that period.

On the fifth day of my suffering or so, one of my distant cousins who resided in the village said that if I wanted network for a few minutes, she knew a place she could take me to. But, it only worked for Airtel. So, I was like, “Bet, let’s go.” People, that’s how I walked and walked till I found myself by the stream. Then we turned to the other side of the stream and climbed boulders under a particular palm tree and once I reached the top, Boom! There was network.

I nearly cried tears of joy, guys. I sat on that boulder for about three hours, listening to the sounds made by the ripples of water in the stream, and also those eerie wind sounds that accompany riverine areas. In that moment, anything could jump at me and I wouldn’t care. I was just eager to be back with network. Kind of cussed at my cousin in my head for not telling me sooner, but I took what I got.

Unfortunately, it soon got dark and the last place you want to be is at the steam when it gets dark. So, I went back to the family house. But the remaining two days had me going at certain times to the boulder by the stream for few hours of network. Back in the city, though, my own form of boulder is my piloting skills. You guys had better address me as Barrister Pilot Tessa, because that’s what these network providers have turned me into. The number of times I’ve clicked on that Airplane mode this month alone is more than all the years I’ve had a phone put together.

I’m constantly clicking and clicking and it never stops. Airplane mode for when you just get data and need it to marinate and kickstart. Airplane mode for when there’s a slight delay in reception. Airplane mode when you want to do anything serious, just to be sure network isn’t about to mess you up. Airplane mode to be sure it’s network issues and not that your data has finished. The list is endless. Lol.

Anyway, that’s what we deal with here. Network outages without explanation let alone an apology, but we hope for better as always. What’s your experience with Network? Share it here.

Jhymi🖤

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_{Images are mine.}

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