I am lying in my hammock. A guided meditation is playing on my cell-phone.
The instructor asks me observe thoughts, the body, the breath. Concerns drain away as I integrate observing and being. Awareness of surroundings intensify. Sensations intensify. Words cannot do justice.
And then, a change.
That part of myself that is observing myself is now moving.
The my Observation Point that my mind had decide was fixed inside of my body is not. The Observation Point now watches itself rise. But not in the visual or spatial field.
Words cannot do justice.
More detached, I receive the briefest glimpse - I “see” myself, from above, lying in the hammock.
The Observation Point is very low off the ground. Yet I feel very giddy from its height.
A gust of icy wind on the back of the neck. Sucking a lemon. Waking abruptly from deep sleep.
How sharp, the present moment.
The end of the meditation nears.
My power of focus is waning. My mind is whining. There is less power to detach.
A memory swings by- a tough period in my life. I recall that
I channeled my energy into the present. Neither success nor failure were as overwhelming. Things got better.
The voice of the instructor speaks:
“Only by practicing meditation on a knowledge can one hope to gain wisdom; knowledge alone does not make one wise.”
Still focusing on my body, I am determined to release my thoughts.
My mind is trying to hypnotize me.
Again, I observe my breath.
The Observation Point had fallen- now it is rising, again. There is a force working against it, trying to pull it down. Pull me down. I direct attention towards the present moment.
The guided meditation is coming to an end.
The teacher reminds us:
“the present is always available to us.”
Yes.
The Observation Point is rising higher and higher.
I am watching my breath, my nose tingles, I am watching my breath.
The present is always available.
Let me agree to re-agree with this, again and again and again.
To my last breath.
But first let us return to now.
The Guided Meditation was by Yeshe Rabgye.
https://yesherabgye.com/guided-meditations/
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