Yesterday was Father's Day, and there were messages and Pictures all over on Social Media platforms, and looking at all of that I was missing my Dad terribly. There is not a single day when I do not remember him, but yesterday while looking at everyone's pictures, my heart was urging me to hug my dad. It has been 21 years since his passing away. A long time, but still feels like till yesterday he was around. My sister put up a picture on FB of our Dad, missing him, some of my childhood friends who knew him well had some very kind words for him, fondly remembering him, which really meant a lot to me. He did leave an impression on people he came across in his life.

Though due to a lot of family issues we never spent much time with him and were most of the time away. We would spend our vacations with him. He was a very hot tempered person and at the same time a very cool dad also. During vacations, some of my friends would come to stay over at our place and he would take care of all of us. Mom and Dad were separated, and that always kept us torn apart from them. But he ensured that he provided us with all our needs. There were some rough times also with him. Due to his heavy alcohol consumption, his health was very poor, and we spent a lot of time in hospitals with him.

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To think of it, he had a very sad life. It was like he was just living for us, he had forgotten to live for himself. He was not a very rich man or had some ancestral wealth. Whatever he earned was all planned up for me and my sister. As we grew up, we would force him to buy things for himself as well. He always enjoyed dressing up well, and whenever we had to go out, he would ask me, How do I look, and I would say, you look like a Hero 💖 He was truly in all terms my Hero.

In all the days I spent with him, I would make sure that I do things for him. He would leave early for work at 5 a.m. I would get up and make tea for him, then when he would come from work, I would immediately take his bag from the door itself and then give him tea and snacks, and daily I would polish his shoes, press his legs, and serve him food. I would just make sure that he is in comfort in whatever way I can make him feel and in my capacity. He would keep blessing me countless times in a day, and always tell me, you are an incarnation of my Mother. He would also fondly say, I will never let you get married :-).

The last 3 years of his life he suffered a lot in his health, he was bed ridden and I was feeling so helpless for him. I was young and I did not have sense of the medical treatments and we did not have much help also. It was like seeing him dying every day. And sometimes I wished that he would find his peace from this nasty world, where he had never found solace.

I do not have many pictures of my dad, in those days smart phones were not there, this is the only one clear picture I have and then some other pictures taken during my wedding.

Looking back, I just wish that he did not have all those health problems, he lived a little longer healthily, and wish I would have had some more time to spend with him. Wish he would have lived to this day, and I would have done everything for him to bring him some happiness. If I had been around, Me and my sister would have done everything to give him a good life, which he so much deserved.

When he was alive, he had never done Air travel, and he always wished to fly once. My hubby planned one trip for him and both of them flew to Bangalore city. He was so happy, and I was happy that I could fulfill one wish of his. He did like to enjoy the finer things of life, but just financially he did not have the capacity and we were always a priority for him.

I wish that wherever he is today, he is in peace, I wish that his Soul must have healed by now from all the pains of his lifetime and that he has found his solace. My nephew was born 4 years later after his passing away and I always have this strong feeling that my dad has incarnated in him. Me and my nephew have a very strong connection and his habits are so much similar like my dad, and that kind of makes me believe. I pray for him that wherever he is today, his soul is in a happy state and peaceful. I know he is always always around with me, he has never left me in all this time. He has been my Mother and Father both. Lots of Love to my Angel in Heaven 🤗💖😘

Thank you for visiting my blog. 👼🏻👼🏻💖💖🌹🌺🌸

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