There are days when i just feel relaxed, probably less motivated or psychologically down and all i do is just sit at home on my favorite couch not willing to do anything all through the day, rather i use this opportunity to think and reflect on my past experiences and how it has shaped my ideology about how the world operates . somewhat like taking stock of my life and actions.
I have always being a ardent believer of the saying that what we do with past determines a whole lot about how the future would turn out. while it's advisable to leave the past in the past afterall that what its called as you have no authority whatsoever over it, understanding the past often leads to futuristic breakthroughs. The successes we celebrate today is built on the foundation of successive failures we have encountered in the past, studied them and learnt from them.
if we fail to learn from the fast then history is bound to repeat itself every time and trust me, this has been proven countless of times.
on this faithful day, i decided to take stock of my life, my relationship, my job, my family. The whole barrage of thoughts were overwhelming and i never knew when i subconsciously let tears roll down my cheeks.
The world and in turn this life haven't been really fair to me. First i was born in a time when my dad had lost most of what he us to have, he literally gone from a moderately wealthy man and dropped below the middle class yet he was striving hard to make sure we his family all have the kind of life he wished for us. it wasn't an easy journey as he kept on working hard and harder by the day only for him get to the point where the results of his handwork was manifesting and he died without any cause.
I was just a fresher in a private Junior Secondary School then and the first thought that dawned on me as a young boy whose father has passed on in his presence is nothing. i was blank, all the event didn't make sense to me all i felt was fear all around. i couldn't feel anything else aside fear. i couldn't show any emotions until i saw family members i haven't seen in ages coming to pay their last respect to my dad. the last straw that broke the camels back was when i saw his coffin being lowered into the ground then i broke into uncontrol able tears as i could finally think straight. that would be the last time i'd be seeing him. i did not have a chance to say goodbye. i would not get to see my father at my graduation or whenever i am celebrating any milestones. i wouldn't be able to have a father son discussion when i come of marriageable age. i was processing a lot of thoughts than my head can carry at that time.
Years down the line, i finally realized i have been bottling up this thoughts and trying to stay strong but i really miss him, even though he has been absent in my life from a young age, i have learnt a lot from him and his experiences from stories told to me by mom. his experiences have been the one that has shaped me to the fine young man i am today and i am sure he'd be smiling wherever he is right now as his sons have grown into fine young men.
DAD I REALLY MISS YOU AND I AM SURE MOM DOES TOO. Continue to rest in peace at the bossom of the almighty God.
