In rereading your article, it makes me question the 'job' I did as a father to my three kids. Is there a way to grade our performance in this regard?
I guess for me it turns upon looking at results. My oldest is 32 and my youngest 24 both boys, with my daughter falling in the middle at 29. All of them have turned out to be productive members of our society, cause no trouble, are kind to others, and are socially responsible.
Did I succeed in my nurturing duties while they were young? Well, their childhood was filled with love, their desires reasonably met, they never went hungry or unclothed - and today it seems they turned out to be beneficial members of our society.
I don't know if this is success, but for me it was the best I could do - and the results were good.
That would be the biggest indicator to me of a job well done.
My joke has always been that I hope my wife and I screw up our kids less than our parents screwed us up.
And, in that respect, both our sets of parents were hugely successful, despite their shortcomings.
My dad did that, actively choosing to reverse his dad's absent-father shortcomings.
My mom did that, actively choosing to forgive her childhood abuser and to be a kind and supportive mom.
My mother-in-law did that, choosing to avoid letting her alcoholic father instill fear in her and her younger siblings, then providing a stable alcohol-free environment for her 3 kids to grow up in.
My father-in-law did that also, providing stability and spiritual guidance to my wife and her 2 brothers.
A pastor friend of mine has a saying he often repeats, "Hurt people hurt people." Being able to break that cycle is perhaps one of the highest contributions an individual can make to society.
In rereading your article, it makes me question the 'job' I did as a father to my three kids. Is there a way to grade our performance in this regard?
I guess for me it turns upon looking at results. My oldest is 32 and my youngest 24 both boys, with my daughter falling in the middle at 29. All of them have turned out to be productive members of our society, cause no trouble, are kind to others, and are socially responsible.
Did I succeed in my nurturing duties while they were young? Well, their childhood was filled with love, their desires reasonably met, they never went hungry or unclothed - and today it seems they turned out to be beneficial members of our society.
I don't know if this is success, but for me it was the best I could do - and the results were good.
That would be the biggest indicator to me of a job well done.
My joke has always been that I hope my wife and I screw up our kids less than our parents screwed us up.
And, in that respect, both our sets of parents were hugely successful, despite their shortcomings.
My dad did that, actively choosing to reverse his dad's absent-father shortcomings.
My mom did that, actively choosing to forgive her childhood abuser and to be a kind and supportive mom.
My mother-in-law did that, choosing to avoid letting her alcoholic father instill fear in her and her younger siblings, then providing a stable alcohol-free environment for her 3 kids to grow up in.
My father-in-law did that also, providing stability and spiritual guidance to my wife and her 2 brothers.
A pastor friend of mine has a saying he often repeats, "Hurt people hurt people." Being able to break that cycle is perhaps one of the highest contributions an individual can make to society.