To her i was a monster, to me she was a monster, we both were, that relationship should had ended the firts time she "fell inlove" with someone else. Glad that i shared it, i have actually never speak about it on hive or any social media... Feels better to air it out.
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I'm so glad you did speak about it. It is absolutely necessary to air these things out in a way that is helpful to oneself. Holding anything is never a healthy choice, from my experience.
What you've shared has given me a much rounded picture of you and increased my respect for you. We all have a monster inside ourselves. Some are not aware of it. Some ignore it. Some feed it until it devours them.
I've chosen to starve my monster for many years now. It's shrank and it no longer has control over me. If a situation arises where it pops up, well there are consequences I impose on myself, should it not adhere to the rules I've set for it long ago.
Quite a while ago, someone shared this story with me. It resonated deeply. I think you might also enjoy it. Two Wolves
Thank you, took me two days to properly read it, but thank you :) Not because is long, is not, is because i was makign a post about those days, about the depression that came after, the severe dissapointment on myself i had, and how it drove me close to suicide. I never picture my self slapping a lover, or screaming at her, neither expected having nightmares of me killing her, and smiling while doing so in my dreams, it still give me the creeps until this very day, now on a healthy relation ship, and expecting a child, i see that i am feeding the right wolf now, and it sure helps to starve that beast into oblivion, is a choise to be made when you become a parent.
Each of us has a dark side and in order to not have it consume us, it must be looked at and yes, starved. There is no way that I've ever found to eliminate it. Perhaps that may differ for others, or perhaps I haven't grown enough. I have found that starving it does cause it to shrink, the more starved, the longer, the more it loses power over one.
You're welcome. I never mind how long anyone takes. You've grown quite a bit. I hope you see that.
I do, thank you for this opportunity to talk about it :)
You're welcome, I'm glad you were able to talk about it. It helps release it.
Im gonna post something about it soon, but not the whole toxic fights and hate, oh no, the time that came after, the therapy, the solitude, the lonelyness :)
I think that's going to be a really good post. I'll keep an eye out for it.